Celebration of Self

December often turns out to be a stressful month for many women. We have gifts to buy, events to plan, family gatherings we have to go to. It all adds up to stress on many levels.

So, let’s declare November the month of Self-Love!
Observe your reaction to that ๐Ÿ˜‰
Was it ‘That sounds like heaven’ or ‘I can’t do that’?

We could all use some more self-love in our lives, putting ourselves first for once. In actual fact that is the way I run my life now. My book was the last thing on my MUST DO list. Now I am doing whatever I please. It pleases me to pack orders from my business and send them out to help women, so there is no conflict there. And it pleases me to dance and do yoga and walk the dog. I am clearing out some physical stuff to make room for a painting studio. And I am planning on spending a lot of time within, in Nature and talking to Spirit until Spring. Basically I’m having a sabbatical or a spiritual retreat without paying anything or going away to do it ๐Ÿ˜‰

Yes, I hear you that you can’t do that right now because…………………….
So what can you do?
Can you give yourself an hour a day to go within or go out in Nature, not for exercise but for the joy of it. Yes, even in the rain or the snow ๐Ÿ˜‰ I know that’s easy for me to say, it was like Summer on the beach today.

I have an intense feeling of urgency to get my mental and emotional stuff cleared out of my system as well, programming that has been hanging on since before birth. They are finding out now that what your mum and dad believed, how they felt and what was happening in their environment totally affects the way you view the world – and usually limits your possibilities. I so believe that!

There was a session in Tom Kenyon’s sound workshop that I took in May that cleared all that stuff and welcomed the newborn Pam, free and clear, into the world. I just got the cds of the workshop so I am going through it again and I will do it until I think I’m complete. Every time I think I’m done a new level comes into my awareness to work on. Dang!

So I try not to tell anyone what they should be doing because that would be ridiculous; I can’t walk in your shoes. I don’t know what the trials and tribulations of all the women reading this are. But since I finally accept myself as being totally unique, what I can do is tell you what’s happening for me and trust that you will figure out your own way to get to your own peace and joy. Or get annoyed and opt out ๐Ÿ˜‰

So if that would be just an hour every day to write, or walk, or sing or feel grateful for this incredible world, then do it. Just do it, women, you are worth it!!!

The other people in your life will adjust, probably with some grumbling at first. It will benefit them that you set an example of self-love. And if your life is full of people who bring you down and think you owe them, then take more time off, you deserve it. It will give you the clarity to deal with them when you come back.

For some of us our families or our aging parents often seem to need more of our help and our attention than we can give. When you are clear and happy you can give so much more. Forgive them for their neediness, they can’t help it. My mum’s mind was going for years before she died and I didn’t get it at the time. It was so gradual. So I kept giving what she wanted and built up more hidden resentment all the time. I wish I could do that time over! I would take more time for myself and only do what I could do lovingly.

If you are thinking that it is your job to take care of everyone else and I am being incredibly selfish, that is an example of the programming of this culture. You’ve been brainwashed. Wouldn’t it be interesting to really get to know who you are and what you want under the programming? I think the underlying core of all of us is Love, Peace and Joy. That’s what I want to get back to as my pushbutton reaction. When I help others from that place it is a win for both of us.

And I also really trust that if I choose not to help a person in my life, they will find someone else to step into that job. We all find our match somehow.

Ok, so have a Huge Celebration of your own Unique Beingness, your own gift to the world, for the entire rest of November. May it feel sooo good that you decide to do it until you die.



Change, Change, and Faster Change

It’s a known fact, as my Dad used to say, that the world is changing faster and faster. Time is whipping by so fast I have to remind myself what day it is several times a day. But I am flowing with change in the most wonderful way.

I am relaxing into being instead of doing. I’ve tried that before and it never lasted long but, this time, it seems to be sticking. Some days I won’t even make a to-do list at all. I gave myself permission to be on extended vacation and I am not thinking about the future or the past.

In the last 6 months since I put my growth process into overdrive, I have been letting go of all of my old programming and forgiving everyone for everything, in fact, thanking them for participating in my drama with me. I feel light, as if I finally got it that life is a movie and we write our own script. I’m becoming more successful at changing my thoughts whenever I feel them slipping back into the same old ruts.

I think a lot of the reason for my peace of mind is Sound. Since I went to Tom Kenyon’s sound workshop in May, my mind has moved into a new soundscape. I am doing the sound meditations on Tom’s site and also the ones with binaural beats that allow you to leave your body and go on journeys. Hemisync pioneered those 35 years ago and I actually did some back then but I was busy being a workaholic at the time. Now I am free to just be.

We are all much more than our bodies and there is so much we can learn in the larger Universe. I leave my body peacefully resting, sometimes breaking into snores, and go out and play in the Universe. I exchange thoughts with SuperPam, my guide, FuturePam, the incredible woman I intend to be at some point before I leave this lifetime and Pamananda, my Higher Self. Sometimes we laugh and dance, sometimes I ask questions about things I don’t understand. But I’m noticing that my questions are changing as well. I am not trying to get reassurance about the future of the planet any more. The planet will continue, with or without humans, and we will continue in some form also. So no worries, as the Aussies say.

I am also letting go of the need to heal the world that I’ve had since I was a child. We will all heal in our own time and our own way and no-one else’s healing is my responsibility.

I still get a bit tweaked when it is 85 degrees for a week. We aren’t used to that here. I still have my preferences. But I’m recognizing the 3D world for what it is; drama, distraction and delusion. When my computer doesn’t give me what I want or the water line under the sink breaks and floods everywhere, I hear myself reacting and I think, “Oops, I’m back in 3D!”

It might sound as if I am kind of stoned or spaced out but that’s not it. I cleaned up the flood, repaired the plumbing and persuaded my computer to work for me. I’m functioning on a very high level but from a different emotional level than before.

I really don’t know if anyone is interested in what I am doing ๐Ÿ˜‰ But I’m writing here now as a chronicle of my changes. The daily journal I’ve kept all my life has too much detail to see the big picture. When I started this blog I wanted it to be useful, to help women. Now that is not the focus. I’m just writing to pinpoint some turnings on my path.

I’m getting huge downloads about a ceremony I will do on Winter Solstice. My guides seem to be very interested in that. I’m bringing forward a new meditation and healing walk; much easier than a labyrinth, and more profound, integrating the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I’m excited about that.

So the comment section is open if you would like to tell me what is happening for you at this time of momentous change. Your comment doesn’t show up right away. I have to ok it to keep the spammers at bay.

I wish you many blessings,


Sound Healing

I went to a Sound Healing workshop last week and I was really impressed with how powerful it was. Tom Kenyon has an amazing 4 octave voice and he made sounds while playing crystal singing bowls, Tibetan bowls and drums. It was Cosmic Fun!

He would talk for a bit, he’s really funny, then move into the sound space and we would all be transported into another reality for a while. Then we’d walk beside the pond and hug the trees to make contact with the Earth and the elements, then come back inside and do it all again for three magical days.

Unfortunately he is taking the whole of 2015 off and isn’t clear whether he will do workshops again in the future.

He is a scientist by preference and is slightly embarrassed by the woo-woo side of his work. But he has seen so many miraculous occurrences from doing it that he can’t refuse to go there. He would stand on the left side of the stage and tell us all the scientific proof about what sound does in the body; making new connections in the lightfield within us, and then he would cross over to the right side to do the music, and he could not speak rationally from that side. It was hilarious.

It made me very aware of my own dichotomy. I have a lightworker side that totally believes in the beautiful future of this planet and is doing it’s best to help in that transformation. Then I have a cynical side that pops up if I’m too much in the mainstream culture that says, “Not enough people care, we can’t get this done, and how did we all get so narcissistic, so wrapped up in ourselves.”

Anyway there were 500 people there at the workshop, all committed to helping create a new reality in their own special ways, all spending time and money to make changes in their own lives. It wasn’t just a great trip, like back in the days of the Beatles, it was deep life change occurring.

I was pretty out of it for the whole week since I got back, adjusting to some huge changes in my brain. I looked like I was here; walked the dog, fixed food, got out orders, but at least 35% ย of me was processing changes. When I walked on the beach and could just tune into what was happening in my body I could actually feel energy shifting.

So this is probably too woo-woo for a lot of people but it seems that I’m coming out of the closet on woo-woo. It is where I’m headed. I’ve just sent for a crystal singing bowl, the new kind with a handle that has an incredibly pure sound. I have had a Tibetan bowl since the ’70s and I don’t play it often enough – busy making a living instead of a life ๐Ÿ˜‰

In the final sound session we had we were told to find within ourselves the quality that we are ready to move into, perhaps a quality we have felt lacking in or one that interests us to explore. Mine was Powerful Compassion.

As an fast moving Aries I sometimes got (notice that past tense) irritated with other people’s speed of growth. Now I call on Powerful Compassion and I really get it that we are all exactly where we need to be at every moment. And I’m also willing to move on at my own speed, probably alone much of the time, not trying to drag anyone along with me.

So what would that quality be for you? A quality you see in others perhaps and wish you had it. Or one that you see as the next step in your growth. Let me know in the comments below and we can all root for you.

Huge blessings