Belief and Reality Change

I firmly believe that we each create our own world according to our beliefs.
That’s why we each have our own version of every event.

But we all have powerful beliefs and programs running us that were installed before we were born; in utero, or from birth to 7 years old, which are NOT useful to us now in our changed world. ‘I can’t’ is a very powerful one and it is different for everyone. What can’t you do that others can do easily?

We often notice these beliefs when we do something automatically and think ‘why did I do that?’

Or we can notice when others do things we don’t think are ok. They are violating one of our core programs. These core programs are in the unconscious mind, which runs 95% of our brain.

Our Conscious brain/mind is only running 5% of our lives because it can only process a limited number of bits of information a second. Try remembering a 20 unit number without using a memory tool.

Our Unconscious is running zillions (the number keeps changing with new research, but it’s a lot) of bits of information a second. It’s our hard-drive! It regulates our pH, our oxygen, all our hormonal system and all our other systems, our reactions to events, our emotions, etc. etc. Some say our whole reality.

Our Superconscious is our connection to Source; our intuition, our higher self โ€“ the part of us that has the whole picture of all of our lifetimes at once. This is the part I like best and want to hang out with it more, but being in the world with all it’s distractions, I get triggered out of connection with it.

So, I have known for 50 years that we are all run by the unconscious programs our parents, peers and others installed without realizing it. I have been searching for a way to access these programs and change them all my life. I’ve tried everything!

And nothing really worked or was easy. I’m too impatient to sit and meditate all day and not really attracted to people who do.

Here is the Solution

Imagine that your unconscious is like a computer. You can install any program you want on the computer and try it out. Your computer doesn’t say, ‘No, I don’t like photoshop, it’s too hard.’ It just installs it and lets you decide.

Humans are actually much more than computers because we have hearts and souls, but this is an analogy.

Now if you install a program that is opposite to one you already have, e.g. ‘I am worthy of all good.’ and you already have an old program, ‘I am worthless.’ Then, like the computer, it doesn’t judge either program. It just uses the ones that your daily thoughts and feelings bring up. So every time you have a thought of being worthless, then you could notice it and say, ‘that’s not true, I am worthy of all good.’ You could even reinstall the program to reinforce that.

Gradually when it needs more room on the hard-drive it will trash the old, unused program and it can no longer be triggered by fear events in your life.

Choosing a New Program.

You can choose a program from something that pops up in your life. Like being impatient and not enjoying that state. You would create the new program โ€“ short and sweet; our unconscious thinks like a child, no negative wording, and present tense.

So ‘I am patient.’ Or at the most two things, ‘I am patient and kind.’

Or you can create a whole long list for every area of your life with really positive beliefs. I stopped at about 6 full pages and I’m not done installing them all.

A good first belief to install would be would be, ‘All my new beliefs benefit me and the world.’

Then I advise you to do, ‘I love myself completely.’ Because that changes everything!

And it wouldn’t hurt to do, ‘I can install new beliefs easily and quickly.’

I was totally enthusiastic at first and did 5 in a row and it did work but it’s probably better if you gave yourself more time and more chance to focus on one at a time. Now I usually do about 5 in the course of a day as they come up.

One of my success stories is that I installed ‘All the improvements to my home that I desire will be done in the next year.’ I hadn’t been consciously thinking about a remodel at all. I live in a mobile home because I want a small footprint but, since I added a dog and a cat, it has gotten a bit shabby.

But when I realized that was on my list I went ahead and started remodeling my house โ€“ by myself! I got a little help with heavy stuff like replacing rotten flooring but mostly it was my work. And my son donated the money for supplies against his inheritance when I leave him the house โ€“ perfect! The house looks so much better already. I still have all the interior doors to replace and I’m looking forward to learning how to do that. It truly feels like a new house.

So, as you can see from that story, this is magic and not-magic! We create our world from our thoughts. If my thoughts are ‘I shouldn’t take anything more for myself because so many people are starving’ then I wouldn’t have bothered remodeling. If my thoughts change to ‘I deserve to live in joy and beauty’ then it’s logical to get going with the paint and the saw.

Installing the New Program.

This is the part I only just recently figured out how to do. Affirmations were supposed to do this but usually didn’t work for me and I discovered why.

Affirmations are usually saying something that your conscious mind does not agree with. If I said I am abundant in every way, my mind was saying, ‘Bulloney, what about the bank account, take a look!’ That argument keeps you in Beta vibration and nothing new gets installed.

So you have to be in Theta, or at least low Alpha state before you can actually get to the level where programs are installed. At first you can do this by playing Theta music from youtube, or doing a deep breathing exercise, sitting out in nature feeling grateful, etc. etc.

Or if you know how to relax already you can take a shortcut by using a physical way of bringing your brain into balance. I got this position from Brain yoga. First, set the intention that what you are doing is for the benefit of all. It really is because every time one of us cleans something up in our programming we are benefiting the whole.

Sit with your legs crossed at the ankles.
Then hold your right earlobe with your left hand, thumb underneath, and your left earlobe with your right hand, so your arms are also crossed.

This brings your brain into balance, both right and left hemispheres and cuts out the arguments.

Take a deep breath in and on the outbreath, say ‘Peace’.

Now you are ready to install the new program. And remember that you don’t need to judge it. Keep an open mind. You are just giving it a free trial for 30 days on your hard-drive and you can uninstall it any time you want. You just are curious to see what life would be like with this new program.

You say it slowly and powerfully 3 times, with emotion if possible. If it doesn’t feel sincere then pretend you are an actor on your own stage. Dare to hope for it from your heart.
The voices in your head may come up at first but just listen, don’t argue with them.

What happens for me now is that sometime before I’ve finished the last declaration of intent, I sigh or take a deep breath automatically.

This may happen for you, or you may have another sign. But after the 3 declarations you are done and the program is installed.

Then you bring your fingers together in front of your heart and say SAVE. Remember what happens on the computer when you don’t save your work?

Then I put my hands on my heart and say ‘Thankyou, thankyou!’

My teacher’s 8 year old son loved math and he said ‘Dad, I want to be a master in math!’ So they installed the program, ‘I am a master in math.’ and the kid is already winning state championships! You can teach anyone this, kids love it!

Ongoing work.

The best thing to do after installing a belief is to take a step in the ‘REAL’ world that would confirm it, or you could just be on the watch for the old program to show up so you can say ‘no, no, baby, not you, I want the new belief!’

You really can’t create beliefs that would hurt others because we are all one, but if you try you will probably be the first one under the bus.

You also can’t create new beliefs for anyone else no matter how much you would like to ๐Ÿ˜‰

You can do this as often as you like. Your unconscious is a work-horse, it can take anything on and find the way to create it in your life. It’s been creating all the stuff you haven’t liked all these years, right?

I’ve had a month long pause to practice this work and I’m telling you it works! The first people I taught, my grandkids, just shone it on, didn’t believe in it. But if I lived closer I could have guided them more often. A couple of others, grownups, the same thing, they shone it on. Most people are sleepwalking anyway and they don’t want anyone to disturb their waking dream. So I just gave up on sharing it.

But now I’m getting enough tweaks from my Superconscious that I thought I’d put it out there and see what happens. Worst case scenario is a few more people I never see will think I’m crazy ๐Ÿ˜‰

Blessings!

I’d love feedback or questions!
But if this conflicts with your existing beliefs you don’t need to attack me. Just click away, go find something you enjoy.

It’s a Whole New World!!

I last posted a year ago when I was coming up on my birthday. Time is moving faster now and a year seems to go by in a wink, but in that year I have accomplished huge growth in many areas. I threw myself into the Awakening process and found out just how perverted and distorted our life here in the Matrix is.

Much of that information was very hard to handle and it felt agonizing to take responsibility for my part in the creation of that world. But waking up to it is our only choice if we want to move out of the Matrix. The Matrix is the small box that Earth is living in under the control of the Shadow Government. Here is an article that gives you an overview of that.

You can find many more great articles on that site, about toxins in the environment and surveillance and the intentions behind bigPharma, the Banksters and bigEnergy corporations. I don’t want to get into putting out that information. I want to present solutions that we can use for our own health in the time we have now, between becoming aware of these depredations, and getting free of them.

For instance; for now we can’t stop the government from dropping toxins, biochemicals and nano-particles on our heads from the skies every day. We have gradually become used to seeing the planes in the sky making passes back and forth over our heads until the sky is white with toxins. But, until enough people wake up and revolt, we have to take care of ourselves by using natural substances that help us rid our bodies of these toxins.

It’s no use feeling totally powerless and shoving our heads back in the sand. You must have seen enough, in the farce of an election that was just passed off as real, to know that we are at a dangerous turn-around point.

The good news is that Mother Earth is done with all this nonsense. She’s not waiting for us to wake up any more! She is ascending, with or without us! I myself have chosen to go with her and I am spending most of my time getting ready in any way I can.

What makes Humans unique in the Universe is our imagination, our range of emotions and our connection to Source. Which is why the controllers try to stamp that out in every way possible, making us dumber with electronics and drugs, and teaching our children to do exactly as they are told – no imagination wanted.

So the first solution I have is to use your imagination to create another world. One in which kindness and love are key and people who can’t hold that vibration will fade away.
This is big.
This is what I have been working on for the last year.
It’s also woo-woo, twilight zone stuff. Trigger the music ๐Ÿ˜‰

I spend time just before sleeping programming myself to go and practice in that world in my dreams. When I walk my dog twice a day I imagine that I’m walking in that world. It’s easy to notice that most people who walk their dogs in nature are usually kind and loving people. I try to stay away from people who are not that.

The stronger your connection gets to the world that many of us are about to step into, the more likely that a parallel timeline will be created. If that happens, more people who don’t have the time to do the work but who have loving, kind hearts will be able to cross over.

If you have read this far and don’t want to have me committed to the loony bin then you must have acknowledged that we humans took a wrong turn some time ago and the results are getting worse every day.
So hang in with me here.
I am trying to wake people up to what’s real while showing them how to create a NEW reality that is better than any one of us can create alone.

I personally think it’s too late to clean up the mess that the greed and hatred have created in this world.
I’m voting for creating a new world and crossing over.
But I will give you some practical solutions for the detoxing of heavy metals next time I write so we don’t all have to get early Alzheimers from aluminum and strontium.

So, from woo-woo to practical tips. This site will be a blend of both and I hope someone finds it useful.

Much love

Pam

Art and Growth

 

I just realized how long it has been since I wrote a blog entry. There have been huge transformations taking place in my life and I just forgot to report on any of them ๐Ÿ˜‰

I dedicated the time from February 1st to my birthday on March 31st to clearing my slate; in my house, in my life and in my psyche. I do this every year because the 2 months before a birthday is a great life detox time so that you can start the next year with clarity and peace.

I got clear on my purpose, which is Awakening. That probably means different things to different people. To me it means becoming aware in every moment that we are all ONE and all part of the divine plan for this planet.

In my releasing of old stuff; childhood patterns at an ever-deepening level, programming from family and society, implants from previous lives, I see more clearly every time something comes up for release, what function it served in making me the unique being that I am now. I am taking full responsibility for everything in my life finally.

At the same time as I’m doing all this inner clearing, I am teaching myself how to paint abstracts and I am loving it so much. Every one of them so different, like flowers and trees and every one a joy to make. I am using various kinds of flowing to paint, letting the colors interact with one another in whatever way pleases us – me and them ๐Ÿ˜‰

Then I am also recreating an old product that I made out of clay 25 years ago – Wild Wailing Women. This is a healing tool. The wailing women listen to all your complaints, from major to minor, and she wails for you, directly into the ear of the Universe, so you can let go of your pain or aggravation or grief and get on with life.

I can’t do clay anymore because I don’t have access to a kiln or enough room, so I have been studying polymer clay and art dolls and I am inspired to create a new Wild Wailing Women for this new time. It is so much fun! I have completed one and learned what NOT to do. Now I will work on a new prototype – as soon as I can tear myself away from the flowing of paint ๐Ÿ˜‰

A previous blog on Intentional Creativity was about how being creative in some way can help to heal all kinds of things in your life. I can tell you it is really true. I am happier now than I can ever remember being, in a very deep way and totally independent of external approval.

Get yourself some paints or music or writing that makes you smile to do it and do it every day, even if only for half an hour and you will see what I mean. You can go to youtube for instructions on anything you want to learn. I love that!

Blessings

Pam

Itโ€™s Time for your Inner Male and Inner Feminine to Tie the Knot

My Inner Male (IM) and Inner Female (IF) often disagreed how things should be handled in my life and Iโ€™ve been doing a lot of work healing that split in the last year. I appreciated my male side when I needed to get things done but I thought it was often a problem when I interacted with others. He was too blunt!

Even my IF had a hard time with normal, everyday conversations. As an empath she could see and feel clearly and often spoke from a deeper place than people expected. So, letโ€™s just say, small talk was not my best skill.

I first did some journaling on the qualities I was grateful for in both of them. It was amazing how much I came up with when I just wrote it down without censoring.

Then I journaled on the qualities I found not so useful and wished I could change in some way.

From this process I recognized that my Inner Male was the Warrior archetype. Many women seem to have this particular archetype since women have entered the corporate world over the last 35 years. But there are many other male archetypes; rescuer/Prince Charming, father, teacher/guru, judge/policeman/controller, handyman/fixer, friend, lover, playmate.

Your inner male archetype would depend on your life path. And it will be obvious when you look back and see what you have resisted and also longed for, your whole life. I have always known I had that warrior within. In fact my first husband used to call me Robina Hood.

So I did a meditation and went inside to meet my Inner Warrior, the Mars Archetype, which just happens to be my birth sign.

As he walked towards me at my call, in his battle armor, he was so full of light, like one of King Arthurโ€™s knights, and he told me he would protect me until death and always had. It was so genuine it brought tears to my eyes.
I told him that I loved and appreciated him finally as he deserved, but perhaps I did not need the same kind of protection now Iโ€™m a crone. Perhaps just seeing things from his male perspective would be the most useful help now.

Then I met my Inner Feminine; so soft and beautiful and so full of desire to remove all the pain and suffering in the world.
She never would have made it on her own.
In Astrology she is Cancer, ruled by the moon, needing constant change. She often found Mars too strong and dictatorial for her, always trying to make her stick with the same safe path. She didnโ€™t have a clue that she was the queen and he would always act on her desire. I held her close and transmitted the feeling that Mars had shown me and she felt it for herself.

Every cell in my body had an epiphany of gratitude for both of them that just swept through me. So we decided to create a sacred ceremony to help us remember who we truly are.

I went down to the beach very early in the morning on February 14 and we each promised undying love, appreciation and devotion, and to always remember that we were both vital to each other here on Planet Earth, the planet of duality. I tied a braided silk thread around my finger and wore it until it fell off.
I will do another ceremony again this and every year.

This has been a very tough year for me, my 70th birthday year brought some hard lessons. I just realized on writing this that perhaps it was because my heart was not as protected as before, not as many shields are up. My warrior allowed me to feel my own pain fully, and let me notice my lack of truly like-minded, joy-filled company to play with on Planet Earth.

The truth is we canโ€™t deeply love anyone else until we truly love ourselves; all of the beings and faces and voices within us, the whole menagerie. This has nothing to do with whether we are single or in relationship with an external male. We pull into our lives the external males that we need to learn lessons. Once we move into partnership with our internal male then we often find ourselves moving into a whole different relationship with our external partners as well.

Blessings
Pam

Intentional Creativity

Early in January I went to a workshop with Shiloh Sophia called The Legend. It was about rewriting your story, the ones you have always told about your life. Writing yourself a new story that would be more fun and productive to live out and then painting the new you. The thing that got me hooked on the workshop was the part that said you can make it up! It doesn’t have to be true!

I’ve always had a hard time telling lies. I’ve done it, of course. We all have. But I think the truth is written all over my face so clearly that only a blind person would miss it.
In fact, one of my favorite thoughts is that we would all wake up one morning and only speak the truth, be totally transparent to each other, and how that would change the world.

As soon as I signed up, all kinds of memories came up for review. I thought of things I hadn’t thought of for years. And always with the perspective of, what about this memory would I change if I could?

When I got to the workshop I was so ready! I really do know that 2015 is going to be my best year ever. I have let go of so much stuff and changed my beliefs and daily practices so much this last year. It was held in the Cosmic Cowgirls studio in Healdsburg and it is an incredible place! Totally inspiring!

We did some journaling and found the secret inner belief that is core to how we see our lives. That was extremely powerful. Then we went to the huge white canvases and began. We actually had 3 days of painting and arrival day and closing session. I never would have believed that the incredible works of art in that room could have come into being in that short time.

My New LegendSo here is my new Legend. Her name is Irrepressible Joy and she’s filling my house with her energy now. She’s so much more beautiful in person. We all have total joy at the core of our being. The trick is to be able to experience it in this world of duality. There are so many opportunities to be dragged off into drama.

Shiloh calls her method Intentional Creativity and she knows it can change people’s worlds. You can do it online as well and there are many women who have trained as teachers of the method. You may be lucky enough to live near one of them.
You can find her at shilohsophiastudios.com andย cosmiccowgirls.com.ย FYI I’m not an affiliate, I just would love more women to experience more joy ๐Ÿ˜‰

I spent the whole of November setting up an art studio in my house and now I paint every day. I just painted an image of the Sacred Marriage that I will post in February for Valentine’s Day.

Live in Joy,

Pam

Happy New Year 2015

artnewsletter

For me Winter Solstice is the real turning of the year and I had a wonderful Solstice event using my new Infinity Peace Path as the framework. I’ll tell you about it so that you can do it for yourself anytime you want to make a change in your life. It doesn’t conflict with any religion you follow and involves the 5 elements that we all need to keep on living.

You first mark out an infinity sign on the floor as simply as putting 3 rocks or shells, or anything really, in an elongated figure 8. The middle one is the crossing point and you walk a circle around the other two as big as you would like. You can do it on the beach, in the park, anywhere about 20 feet long and 8 ft wide.

Then in the middle of the left hand circle, which is the circle of letting go, imagine 5 bowls or baskets representing the elements; earth, fire, water, air and Spirit. I had earth, a candle, sea water, air, and a Tibetan bowl to represent Spirit, but you can just imagine it.

Now you walk 5 times around the whole path and as you pass the imaginary bowls on the left side you let go of something in your life represented by that element.

Earth is the life of the physical plane; your health, job, money, location, etc.
Fire represents misplaced passion; anger, resentment, resistance, etc.
Water is our emotional life; grief, sorrow, regret, lack of self-love, lack of confidence.
Air represents the mental life; all the beliefs, programs and patterns that we feel we should have outgrown by now, that are hindering our growth.
Spirit is any doubt or fear. When we are truly connected to Spirit we can transcend doubt and fear but we never get rid of it entirely because it is a basic of this existence in a body. It’s built in to the amygdala in the brain and was necessary for our survival, perhaps will be again.

Now you send all those imaginary bowls and all that energy out into the Cosmos where it all dissolves into love – because that’s all there is really when you get out there away from this planet of polarity. You don’t have to know how to do this, as you think it and imagine it, it happens.

So now you can do one circuit in the peace of emptiness. I did a healing ritual at this point.

Now you can walk the path of receiving. The imaginary bowls are in the right-hand circle now.

The earth is a gift of abundance and healing all lack. I had amethyst crystals in this one.
Fire was the gift of a red flower; finding your true passion and following it.
Water was healing water; healing yourself in every way.
Air was a gift of words of inspiration to replace the old beliefs.
Spirit was sparkling radiance.

Thank each element for the gifts you get every moment. We would die without any one of these elements, some quickly, some slowly.ย Notice if you fully received these gifts. Most of us have a hard time with receiving ๐Ÿ˜‰

Walking alone, without any of the element bowls, will integrate your right and left hemispheres and bring you to a place of peace. Adding in the elements makes that more profound and life changing. I was doing it on the beach every day right after Solstice and it was so calming. Then my family arrived and it went out the window ๐Ÿ˜‰

So now I am off to an art and writing workshop for five days. I am so excited! And I am also creating some new and beautiful abstracts in my new studio. One of them is above.

This will be the last newsletter you will receive because I don’t want to pay for the newsletter program which just doubled in price, but you can always read my blog here on the site or you can click on the RSS feed button and get it on your home page.

So I will keep on writing blogs once in a while as a record of my changes. This year has been momentous in that regard. I have given up the desire to heal others. We all are dealing with the lessons we need to learn.
Now I desire to inspire others with my words or my art instead. I listened recently to one of those teleseminar programs where various women were explaining how to be a powerful woman and it was all stuff I have been saying for donkey’s years but I just didn’t manage to get anyone to listen. Now the word is out there and available and I can step back and leave it to the younger women. They speak the language of NOW and understand marketing better than I do.

If you use my Infinity Peace Path in your own work please credit me and my site. I may try to get it out there somehow because it changed people right in front of my eyes on Solstice.

Love and Joy and Peace in 2015. May it be your best year ever.

Pam

Great Poems

I was given the assignment to pick a poem to live by and Kim Rosen has a page on her website where she lists 50 poems that she loves. So I went there to check it out and the very first one was a poem I heard over 40 years ago that first opened the space for poetry in my heart.

David Whyte was giving his first poetry reading in the US and he read like an angel. He read each line at least twice and there were long pauses in his reading. I was totally blissed when the morning was over. I went walking on the grounds at Asilomar and my feet weren’t touching the earth. At that time his own poetry was not famous so he read some beautiful poems from Rumi, Rilke, Goethe and others then finished with some of his own.

So, part of the assignment was to record the poem you want to live by and I’ve just finished doing that. I’ll put it up here in case anyone is interested. Enjoy!


After I did this post I googled David Whyte and I have spent the day listening to him. He is still mesmerizing! And I found a poem I had been searching for a long time. I thought it was called Lost in the Forest, but that one is by Neruda and it is different. The one I was seeking is just called Lost and is by David Wagoner and David Whyte spoke it that same day at Asilomar. So I recorded that one as well. I’ve always remembered bits of it but not clearly. It is so beautiful! Enjoy again!



After re-engaging with great poetry all day I am in a totally altered space, lifted out of the 3D world and seeing the enormous undertow of creativity that is tugging on me. It’s probably no coincidence that I tore down two tin sheds this week to make room for an art studio under an awning beside my house. All my art supplies; for painting, silk-painting, sculpting, stained glass and copper working have been dormant inside the sheds for years. Now I will have a real studio again. It’s definitely time that poetry showed up at the feast ๐Ÿ˜‰

Celebration of Self

December often turns out to be a stressful month for many women. We have gifts to buy, events to plan, family gatherings we have to go to. It all adds up to stress on many levels.

So, let’s declare November the month of Self-Love!
Observe your reaction to that ๐Ÿ˜‰
Was it ‘That sounds like heaven’ or ‘I can’t do that’?

We could all use some more self-love in our lives, putting ourselves first for once. In actual fact that is the way I run my life now. My book was the last thing on my MUST DO list. Now I am doing whatever I please. It pleases me to pack orders from my business and send them out to help women, so there is no conflict there. And it pleases me to dance and do yoga and walk the dog. I am clearing out some physical stuff to make room for a painting studio. And I am planning on spending a lot of time within, in Nature and talking to Spirit until Spring. Basically I’m having a sabbatical or a spiritual retreat without paying anything or going away to do it ๐Ÿ˜‰

Yes, I hear you that you can’t do that right now because…………………….
So what can you do?
Can you give yourself an hour a day to go within or go out in Nature, not for exercise but for the joy of it. Yes, even in the rain or the snow ๐Ÿ˜‰ I know that’s easy for me to say, it was like Summer on the beach today.

I have an intense feeling of urgency to get my mental and emotional stuff cleared out of my system as well, programming that has been hanging on since before birth. They are finding out now that what your mum and dad believed, how they felt and what was happening in their environment totally affects the way you view the world – and usually limits your possibilities. I so believe that!

There was a session in Tom Kenyon’s sound workshop that I took in May that cleared all that stuff and welcomed the newborn Pam, free and clear, into the world. I just got the cds of the workshop so I am going through it again and I will do it until I think I’m complete. Every time I think I’m done a new level comes into my awareness to work on. Dang!

So I try not to tell anyone what they should be doing because that would be ridiculous; I can’t walk in your shoes. I don’t know what the trials and tribulations of all the women reading this are. But since I finally accept myself as being totally unique, what I can do is tell you what’s happening for me and trust that you will figure out your own way to get to your own peace and joy. Or get annoyed and opt out ๐Ÿ˜‰

So if that would be just an hour every day to write, or walk, or sing or feel grateful for this incredible world, then do it. Just do it, women, you are worth it!!!

The other people in your life will adjust, probably with some grumbling at first. It will benefit them that you set an example of self-love. And if your life is full of people who bring you down and think you owe them, then take more time off, you deserve it. It will give you the clarity to deal with them when you come back.

For some of us our families or our aging parents often seem to need more of our help and our attention than we can give. When you are clear and happy you can give so much more. Forgive them for their neediness, they can’t help it. My mum’s mind was going for years before she died and I didn’t get it at the time. It was so gradual. So I kept giving what she wanted and built up more hidden resentment all the time. I wish I could do that time over! I would take more time for myself and only do what I could do lovingly.

If you are thinking that it is your job to take care of everyone else and I am being incredibly selfish, that is an example of the programming of this culture. You’ve been brainwashed. Wouldn’t it be interesting to really get to know who you are and what you want under the programming? I think the underlying core of all of us is Love, Peace and Joy. That’s what I want to get back to as my pushbutton reaction. When I help others from that place it is a win for both of us.

And I also really trust that if I choose not to help a person in my life, they will find someone else to step into that job. We all find our match somehow.

Ok, so have a Huge Celebration of your own Unique Beingness, your own gift to the world, for the entire rest of November. May it feel sooo good that you decide to do it until you die.

Blessings,

Pam

Life Assessment

Last year I did a ritual celebration at Winter Solstice that was wonderful. We all ended with getting an intention from our Higher Self for the New Year. Mine was to get bigger, to get my work out into the world.

This has definitely been a year of huge change; some changes have been difficult and could not have been foreseen. Now I am planning the Solstice Ritual for the end of this year and I woke up at 4 o’clock this morning thinking about how far I have come.
So I decided to do a Life Assessment. Here it is!

I got the website up and going and then lost the impetus to go any further with it right now. I got my book up on Amazon so that is off my mind and it can create it’s own destiny.

I worked intensely on my physical health this year, prompted by a fear of brain loss as I get older. I don’t want my brain to go before I do. Now, after doing 3 intense months on the Auto-immune diet, I have added some things back that I was previously reacting to without experiencing any problems. So I am regaining weight and feeling good about my food. I probably eat better than the majority of the world – all organic, hardly any processed food. Even my dog gets food cooked fresh every day ๐Ÿ˜‰

My new hobby for the winter evenings is to watch TED talks and I am learning some amazing things that I never would have dreamed of. Sometimes I’m glad that I won’t be here to see the world that is coming; ever more disconnected from Nature, from Spirit and from each other. Other times when I hear about people in Africa and India inventing amazing new things to help each other I am totally heartened. But anyway my brain still seems to be in good shape.

Financially, I am coasting, making enough on the weight vests to support my modest lifestyle. I did all kinds of marketing courses on how to sell myself and have people pay lots of money for workshops and sessions but I am totally uninterested in that right now. I see so many people working hard at trying to make money while doing what they love to do and it doesn’t look like fun. They always have to find the next new customer and there are so many voices out there.

My relationship with my son has become totally different since last year. We are back to seeing, hearing and valuing each other in new ways and that is a total joy to me.

I am spending lots of time in Nature, talking to the Earth, the elements and Spirit and I find that drawing me away from 3D reality. I wish I had a Waldon Pond to go to – but it would have to have Wifi ๐Ÿ˜‰
So, just as I write this, I am aware that I am slipping into a new space of being more at home in the natural world while still valuing some of the gifts of the 3D world.

I am getting a great deal of joy from planning the Solstice Event. It will be beautiful and profound. I wish anyone who is reading this could be there.

I know this has been a tough year for many people and I am incredibly grateful that my changes have brought me to a place of peace that I have never had before. I wish that for everyone.

If you decide to do a life assessment yourself, make sure to do it on a day that the world looks good to you, and treat yourself with kindness, seeing all the growth you have accomplished.

I wrote another blog post a while ago and didn’t send it out so you can check that if you are interested. It is here.

Blessings,

Change, Change, and Faster Change

It’s a known fact, as my Dad used to say, that the world is changing faster and faster. Time is whipping by so fast I have to remind myself what day it is several times a day. But I am flowing with change in the most wonderful way.

I am relaxing into being instead of doing. I’ve tried that before and it never lasted long but, this time, it seems to be sticking. Some days I won’t even make a to-do list at all. I gave myself permission to be on extended vacation and I am not thinking about the future or the past.

In the last 6 months since I put my growth process into overdrive, I have been letting go of all of my old programming and forgiving everyone for everything, in fact, thanking them for participating in my drama with me. I feel light, as if I finally got it that life is a movie and we write our own script. I’m becoming more successful at changing my thoughts whenever I feel them slipping back into the same old ruts.

I think a lot of the reason for my peace of mind is Sound. Since I went to Tom Kenyon’s sound workshop in May, my mind has moved into a new soundscape. I am doing the sound meditations on Tom’s site and also the ones with binaural beats that allow you to leave your body and go on journeys. Hemisync pioneered those 35 years ago and I actually did some back then but I was busy being a workaholic at the time. Now I am free to just be.

We are all much more than our bodies and there is so much we can learn in the larger Universe. I leave my body peacefully resting, sometimes breaking into snores, and go out and play in the Universe. I exchange thoughts with SuperPam, my guide, FuturePam, the incredible woman I intend to be at some point before I leave this lifetime and Pamananda, my Higher Self. Sometimes we laugh and dance, sometimes I ask questions about things I don’t understand. But I’m noticing that my questions are changing as well. I am not trying to get reassurance about the future of the planet any more. The planet will continue, with or without humans, and we will continue in some form also. So no worries, as the Aussies say.

I am also letting go of the need to heal the world that I’ve had since I was a child. We will all heal in our own time and our own way and no-one else’s healing is my responsibility.

I still get a bit tweaked when it is 85 degrees for a week. We aren’t used to that here. I still have my preferences. But I’m recognizing the 3D world for what it is; drama, distraction and delusion. When my computer doesn’t give me what I want or the water line under the sink breaks and floods everywhere, I hear myself reacting and I think, “Oops, I’m back in 3D!”

It might sound as if I am kind of stoned or spaced out but that’s not it. I cleaned up the flood, repaired the plumbing and persuaded my computer to work for me. I’m functioning on a very high level but from a different emotional level than before.

I really don’t know if anyone is interested in what I am doing ๐Ÿ˜‰ But I’m writing here now as a chronicle of my changes. The daily journal I’ve kept all my life has too much detail to see the big picture. When I started this blog I wanted it to be useful, to help women. Now that is not the focus. I’m just writing to pinpoint some turnings on my path.

I’m getting huge downloads about a ceremony I will do on Winter Solstice. My guides seem to be very interested in that. I’m bringing forward a new meditation and healing walk; much easier than a labyrinth, and more profound, integrating the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I’m excited about that.

So the comment section is open if you would like to tell me what is happening for you at this time of momentous change. Your comment doesn’t show up right away. I have to ok it to keep the spammers at bay.

I wish you many blessings,

Pam