Giving the 100 Day Challenge the Boot.

Ok, my intention to learn the trapeze in 100 days has driven me a bit berserk! I do love to keep my promises to myself whenever possible, so when I noticed I wasn’t actually doing the work every day I was first understanding and tolerant, then a bit slave-driving, then questioning (does that sound like your mum?).  Nothing actually got me going!

What I got with the questioning was two things. One, that the trapeze nowadays is not the trapeze I was imagining in my mind. When I was a child and saw the beautiful, sparkling lady climb up the ladder and get on the trapeze I was totally awestruck. I wanted to be like her so much I could taste it! She always had her partners and brothers to swing her back and forth and flip her in the air and catch her. It just looked like Heaven! She was never a disappointment like the ride on the elephant.

It’s different now. The circus place where I do aerial yoga every week is from the new school, the Cirque du Soleil version of circus. I admire it enormously but I don’t want to go there. For one thing, the trapeze hangs from one point so it circles around  and around and doesn’t just fly straight like a swing. For another, there are no nets so the routines on the trapeze now tend to be a little hanging gymnastics and then a pose for applause, another little gymnastic contortion and then a pose.

So I was pretending to myself that I was in this for the body strengthening but really I was in it for the thrills. I wanted to be on a giant swing. And, I noticed that I’m still a bit shy about posing (‘especially at your age!’ my mum just said). Mum’s actually dead but that doesn’t stop her from talking in my head 🙂 . That’s number one.

Number two is that I have been working on revising the book a lot and also on becoming clear on what I wanted to spend my next twenty years doing. With that and the solar flares I was feeling uncharacteristically physically tired. My mind and emotions were doing really well but my body was dragging a bit. I also asked for and got greater communication with my guides, and it is wonderful, but I think so much of my being is moving into another dimension that it added to my tiredness. My body has to catch up.UCSB Labyrinth

So over Solstice I did an amazing ritual at the UCSB Labyrinth. It is pretty  new and was totally empty. It overlooks the ocean, I could hear the waves, and I was in Heaven. The message that I got was that the gift that I came to share with people, women especially, is how to get present in their bodies as a regular way of being. Then proper nutrition and self-love and breathing and reclaiming their own power to create their lives, all fall into place for each one in her own way.

I can’t tell anyone else how to eat. I finally have become clear on what suits my body at this time of my life and I’m grateful for that. But it certainly wouldn’t suit many people. I was hung up on that for a while watching people feed their addictions and getting sicker and sicker. I really want everyone to be well and happy and doing great work in the world. But after hearing the words a zillion times that everyone is on their own path, I finally got a hit right to the heart during this ritual that everyone is doing what is right for them right now. My only job is to be the best that I can be at my own life, and if I look a lot more lively and healthy than other people my age then maybe they will sit up and take notice.

So I’m not sitting on my fingers, I’m still exercising daily, but I’ve kicked the trapeze idea to the curb. And I’m not going to do challenges any more either. I will accept my life day to day as I am creating it with extreme gratitude. Often while on the beach walking with Dragon I wonder how I got so lucky.

Love and blessings,

The Absolute Joy of Moving

I am almost finished revising my book, “Come Home to Your Body.” Whoohoo! It was a lot of work! Now I have to learn all about self-publishing. It was published by Llewellyn before but self-publishing is the fastest way to go now.

I was thinking about the new ability to create videos to go along with books. I love it! Technology is the Third dimensional version of magic.

So I was planning what videos I would make and I did a practice one for a group I belong to, and watching it made me realize how far I’ve come in accepting my own ways of moving. I am who I am, and when you move in front of a camera you show who you are in every frame. At first it was intimidating but, when I moved into more self-acceptance and self-love, I stepped into the purpose of the video, which is to encourage others to be in their bodies more.

While pondering all this two youtube videos came to mind.  PLEASE click the play buttons because you will probably love both of them and the second one will make you laugh out loud.

The first one is how I would have liked my body to move when I first watched it. It is exquisite. Up until now I would have said that if I could move like that I would be happy. Now I can look at it and admire it wholeheartedly but not want to go there. It took years of control and years of seeing from the outside to get there.

The singer and songwriter is Lee Harris and the dancer is Guido Verwer. Click the play on youtube button to learn more.

The second is a video of an amazingly alive child who beams megawatt joy in her movement. That’s who I want to be like now. She totally healed me of allowing my inner critic to control my own expression of joy. After watching her I felt free to be completely dorky and whacky. She gave me permission to be more of me. And check out the sweet little angel next to her who is doing everything right. Which do you feel called to be?

So check out the level of joy you take in your movements this week. Up the ante a bit, move up the scale. You can find a NIA dance class or dance by yourself in the living room and feel as good as this little sunbeam is feeling.

What a blessing,


100 Day Challenge

I am about one third of the way through the 100 day challenge to learn the trapeze and I have to be honest, it’s not going as well as I expected 😉

I had a lesson on the first day, April 1st, April Fools Day, and found that I could not actually get up on the trapeze from the floor. You have to bring your legs up and over your head while hanging from the trapeze. My legs were not going anywhere!! Just think about it for a minute. There aren’t many, or any, actions in daily life that bring your up legs over your head from standing.

So that was a disappointment. Once up on the trapeze – with the help of others, I was doing alright but I was a bit distracted by my granddaughter having her lesson on the silks at the same time. And I realized I just wanted some space to play about, not really learning anything, so I could get comfortable with the whole thing.

Anyway I will post a mercifully short video of it so you can see what the beginning stage is. The hope being, that the ending video on July 1st will just knock your socks off with my comfort on the trapeze. Not my huge talent or expertise, but my comfort and pleasure swinging like a child.

Since then I have been doing some practicing on the bar I have at the house so I can increase my upper body strength and comfort with the learning. But, to be honest, I have not done it every day. I had some emotional upsets going on for a while and my commitment wavered.

But I have been witnessing my process and going through huge transformation at the same time. We all have actually. There are many planetary changes going on that are affecting us all on a cellular level. And they will continue for quite a while. All conscious beings are on fast forward to transformation whether they remember signing up for it or not. For me, it was no less than finally deciding whether I wanted to commit to doing my work here on Earth or stick my head back into the sand.

A week ago, in an intense transformational process, I decided I would commit to it entirely and let nothing else in my life distract me from it. I am being asked very firmly by Spirit to stop piddling around and get on with it. Now is the Time! The trapeze is not a distraction. It is a step on the journey. I want to prove in my own life that old age is not a deterrent to anything you set your heart on doing. It’s a part of my message.

So I am now back on my life’s path with determination to see it through and give what I have to give, in case someone else will find it useful. It’s a blissful feeling. I feel totally at peace.

I am also revising my book, ‘Come Home to Your Body.’ which I wrote and got published 17 years ago, before I got sick. On rereading it, I am amazed at how together I was back then and how clear I was. I lost that total clarity when I got sick and now I am reclaiming it. In the intervening years since getting well I have been very busy creating things, like the weightvest, and many other inventions, but now I am ready to reclaim the space of teaching that I had then.

Getting truly well is a long journey. That’s why I empathize so strongly with women who are feeling healthy and then they get a stupid Dexa scan and are told to live in fear their bones will collapse. I address that on my other site but now I want to address all the fears of women as they get older and they hit the negative programming in this culture.

I think I can help with that because I can see through the illusions of the programming. And I can see who is drinking the Koolaid and going down the ugly road of aging as it is laid down here in the US. I’ll be there at the Koolaid stand to say, “Wait, don’t drink that, there is another way! Gaia needs you and all your special skills and talents RIGHT NOW! You can make a difference.”

Peace and blessings always,


Changing Your Emotional State While Walking

Since we are supposed to walk for an hour a day, especially if you have a weight vest and are trying to improve bone density, what else can you do on that walk that would accomplish something really life-changing for you?

A few days ago I was totally bummed with an emotional issue that I just couldn’t get out of my mind. So I was doing the hamster-wheel thing in my head going over and over it. I was walking on the beach because that is so healing for me but even that wasn’t really working to get me out of my funk.

Then a young woman walked by having a conversation with her earbuds and she was swinging her arms vigorously and walking like a powerful person. I suddenly noticed my internal and external physiology, my posture, and I got the realization I was walking like my mother in her last years. Towards the end her mind was going and she didn’t remember that she was loved and she was afraid of dying and she walked like a scared, depressed person.

My posture wasn’t that bad but there was enough of that energy present to surprise me. I straightened up immediately and slid my shoulder blades down my spine trying to make them meet in the middle of my back. I swung my arms more vigorously and I lengthened my stride. I didn’t get on the phone because I think that is insane on the beach 😉

Immediately I felt better, in fact I burst out laughing at the change. I suddenly saw the stew I was in from a new perspective and saw clearly that the other person was not going to change so all I could change was my reaction. I could create better boundaries so this person could not affect my self-image. I am fine, he is fine, we are just not walking the same path. Why would we be? We basically all have to find the path that works for us in this life.

So then I experimented with other emotional states as I walked along to see how many states I could get into and out of by merely changing my posture. I have a total belief in using the power of body awareness to create in your life but I somehow forgot to use that when I was in the dumps. Luckily my inner wisdom created this young woman to teach me in the moment I needed it.

My soul friend, Lisa, was walking with me the very next day and said she had found a new way to know what was right for her. She just asked herself, “Would this give me more Lisa or less Lisa?”
Same thing with the walk, “Am I walking like BIG PAM or like small pam?”

So try it for yourself. Ask yourself some questions as you walk:

  • Am I walking like anyone I know?
  • Is my body expressing any specific emotion with my movement?
  • Am I fully present in this moment – or in the past or future?
  • Am I expressing all the enthusiasm I could in this moment?
  • Am I allowing myself to feel the joy in the world in this moment?
  • Am I appreciating all that I have in this moment?
  • Am I sending back love to nature, or the planet, or Gaia, or trees, or flowers, or whatever in this moment.

Instead of just getting some exercise or improving your bones, you can be improving your whole life in your hour of walking. What a blessing it is to have the hour of freedom, so many women don’t.

Please let me know in the comments if you can make this work on the treadmill. It might be a little more difficult.

I think I’m going to put this on the weight vest blog and the HealthyOver50 blog because it applies to both.

Enjoy your walking,



I am looking forward to blogging on this site. Health is such a huge topic, I can talk about anything! I am still writing all the static pages but the blog will be a more spontaneous thing that I can use to update the information with all the new ideas I come across.

I’ve had a blog on the Weight Vest site for years but I have to limit myself to bone related topics there. Yet everything is related to everything. Today I was not only learning how to configure the website on WordPress but have it look the way I wanted it and I was getting pretty stuck in my head and obsessive and edgy. When I was walking with Dragon, my new dog, down near the beach I just let it all go and instantly felt better.

There is a eucalyptus tree on my walk that I love and standing next to that tree with my head against the beautiful peeling bark I can bring myself back into a space of acceptance of what is, and gratitude. Sometimes I used to climb up in the tree and sit above the people walking by and they rarely noticed me. I can’t do that anymore because Dragon thinks the world revolves around her and she doesn’t want to wait for me to talk to trees.treepam

Thinking back over my day there was such a contrast between the mental intensity of learning a new computer skill, getting things wrong a zillion times and starting over, being totally in my head, and walking with Dragon and being present with trees and the ocean. I love them both. I couldn’t do a Walden Pond thing, alone in a cabin in the woods. My computer is my friend and ally and I learn so much from it. I could easily live without a cell phone but not without my computer.

I have read a lot of lovely blogs by amazing women lately and one of them said that when she started she had only one reader – her dad 😉 So I will start out with a few friends and see where this leads me.

Move in Joy,