It’s Time for your Inner Male and Inner Feminine to Tie the Knot

My Inner Male (IM) and Inner Female (IF) often disagreed how things should be handled in my life and I’ve been doing a lot of work healing that split in the last year. I appreciated my male side when I needed to get things done but I thought it was often a problem when I interacted with others. He was too blunt!

Even my IF had a hard time with normal, everyday conversations. As an empath she could see and feel clearly and often spoke from a deeper place than people expected. So, let’s just say, small talk was not my best skill.

I first did some journaling on the qualities I was grateful for in both of them. It was amazing how much I came up with when I just wrote it down without censoring.

Then I journaled on the qualities I found not so useful and wished I could change in some way.

From this process I recognized that my Inner Male was the Warrior archetype. Many women seem to have this particular archetype since women have entered the corporate world over the last 35 years. But there are many other male archetypes; rescuer/Prince Charming, father, teacher/guru, judge/policeman/controller, handyman/fixer, friend, lover, playmate.

Your inner male archetype would depend on your life path. And it will be obvious when you look back and see what you have resisted and also longed for, your whole life. I have always known I had that warrior within. In fact my first husband used to call me Robina Hood.

So I did a meditation and went inside to meet my Inner Warrior, the Mars Archetype, which just happens to be my birth sign.

As he walked towards me at my call, in his battle armor, he was so full of light, like one of King Arthur’s knights, and he told me he would protect me until death and always had. It was so genuine it brought tears to my eyes.
I told him that I loved and appreciated him finally as he deserved, but perhaps I did not need the same kind of protection now I’m a crone. Perhaps just seeing things from his male perspective would be the most useful help now.

Then I met my Inner Feminine; so soft and beautiful and so full of desire to remove all the pain and suffering in the world.
She never would have made it on her own.
In Astrology she is Cancer, ruled by the moon, needing constant change. She often found Mars too strong and dictatorial for her, always trying to make her stick with the same safe path. She didn’t have a clue that she was the queen and he would always act on her desire. I held her close and transmitted the feeling that Mars had shown me and she felt it for herself.

Every cell in my body had an epiphany of gratitude for both of them that just swept through me. So we decided to create a sacred ceremony to help us remember who we truly are.

I went down to the beach very early in the morning on February 14 and we each promised undying love, appreciation and devotion, and to always remember that we were both vital to each other here on Planet Earth, the planet of duality. I tied a braided silk thread around my finger and wore it until it fell off.
I will do another ceremony again this and every year.

This has been a very tough year for me, my 70th birthday year brought some hard lessons. I just realized on writing this that perhaps it was because my heart was not as protected as before, not as many shields are up. My warrior allowed me to feel my own pain fully, and let me notice my lack of truly like-minded, joy-filled company to play with on Planet Earth.

The truth is we can’t deeply love anyone else until we truly love ourselves; all of the beings and faces and voices within us, the whole menagerie. This has nothing to do with whether we are single or in relationship with an external male. We pull into our lives the external males that we need to learn lessons. Once we move into partnership with our internal male then we often find ourselves moving into a whole different relationship with our external partners as well.

Blessings
Pam

Happy New Year 2015

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For me Winter Solstice is the real turning of the year and I had a wonderful Solstice event using my new Infinity Peace Path as the framework. I’ll tell you about it so that you can do it for yourself anytime you want to make a change in your life. It doesn’t conflict with any religion you follow and involves the 5 elements that we all need to keep on living.

You first mark out an infinity sign on the floor as simply as putting 3 rocks or shells, or anything really, in an elongated figure 8. The middle one is the crossing point and you walk a circle around the other two as big as you would like. You can do it on the beach, in the park, anywhere about 20 feet long and 8 ft wide.

Then in the middle of the left hand circle, which is the circle of letting go, imagine 5 bowls or baskets representing the elements; earth, fire, water, air and Spirit. I had earth, a candle, sea water, air, and a Tibetan bowl to represent Spirit, but you can just imagine it.

Now you walk 5 times around the whole path and as you pass the imaginary bowls on the left side you let go of something in your life represented by that element.

Earth is the life of the physical plane; your health, job, money, location, etc.
Fire represents misplaced passion; anger, resentment, resistance, etc.
Water is our emotional life; grief, sorrow, regret, lack of self-love, lack of confidence.
Air represents the mental life; all the beliefs, programs and patterns that we feel we should have outgrown by now, that are hindering our growth.
Spirit is any doubt or fear. When we are truly connected to Spirit we can transcend doubt and fear but we never get rid of it entirely because it is a basic of this existence in a body. It’s built in to the amygdala in the brain and was necessary for our survival, perhaps will be again.

Now you send all those imaginary bowls and all that energy out into the Cosmos where it all dissolves into love – because that’s all there is really when you get out there away from this planet of polarity. You don’t have to know how to do this, as you think it and imagine it, it happens.

So now you can do one circuit in the peace of emptiness. I did a healing ritual at this point.

Now you can walk the path of receiving. The imaginary bowls are in the right-hand circle now.

The earth is a gift of abundance and healing all lack. I had amethyst crystals in this one.
Fire was the gift of a red flower; finding your true passion and following it.
Water was healing water; healing yourself in every way.
Air was a gift of words of inspiration to replace the old beliefs.
Spirit was sparkling radiance.

Thank each element for the gifts you get every moment. We would die without any one of these elements, some quickly, some slowly. Notice if you fully received these gifts. Most of us have a hard time with receiving 😉

Walking alone, without any of the element bowls, will integrate your right and left hemispheres and bring you to a place of peace. Adding in the elements makes that more profound and life changing. I was doing it on the beach every day right after Solstice and it was so calming. Then my family arrived and it went out the window 😉

So now I am off to an art and writing workshop for five days. I am so excited! And I am also creating some new and beautiful abstracts in my new studio. One of them is above.

This will be the last newsletter you will receive because I don’t want to pay for the newsletter program which just doubled in price, but you can always read my blog here on the site or you can click on the RSS feed button and get it on your home page.

So I will keep on writing blogs once in a while as a record of my changes. This year has been momentous in that regard. I have given up the desire to heal others. We all are dealing with the lessons we need to learn.
Now I desire to inspire others with my words or my art instead. I listened recently to one of those teleseminar programs where various women were explaining how to be a powerful woman and it was all stuff I have been saying for donkey’s years but I just didn’t manage to get anyone to listen. Now the word is out there and available and I can step back and leave it to the younger women. They speak the language of NOW and understand marketing better than I do.

If you use my Infinity Peace Path in your own work please credit me and my site. I may try to get it out there somehow because it changed people right in front of my eyes on Solstice.

Love and Joy and Peace in 2015. May it be your best year ever.

Pam

Celebration of Self

December often turns out to be a stressful month for many women. We have gifts to buy, events to plan, family gatherings we have to go to. It all adds up to stress on many levels.

So, let’s declare November the month of Self-Love!
Observe your reaction to that 😉
Was it ‘That sounds like heaven’ or ‘I can’t do that’?

We could all use some more self-love in our lives, putting ourselves first for once. In actual fact that is the way I run my life now. My book was the last thing on my MUST DO list. Now I am doing whatever I please. It pleases me to pack orders from my business and send them out to help women, so there is no conflict there. And it pleases me to dance and do yoga and walk the dog. I am clearing out some physical stuff to make room for a painting studio. And I am planning on spending a lot of time within, in Nature and talking to Spirit until Spring. Basically I’m having a sabbatical or a spiritual retreat without paying anything or going away to do it 😉

Yes, I hear you that you can’t do that right now because…………………….
So what can you do?
Can you give yourself an hour a day to go within or go out in Nature, not for exercise but for the joy of it. Yes, even in the rain or the snow 😉 I know that’s easy for me to say, it was like Summer on the beach today.

I have an intense feeling of urgency to get my mental and emotional stuff cleared out of my system as well, programming that has been hanging on since before birth. They are finding out now that what your mum and dad believed, how they felt and what was happening in their environment totally affects the way you view the world – and usually limits your possibilities. I so believe that!

There was a session in Tom Kenyon’s sound workshop that I took in May that cleared all that stuff and welcomed the newborn Pam, free and clear, into the world. I just got the cds of the workshop so I am going through it again and I will do it until I think I’m complete. Every time I think I’m done a new level comes into my awareness to work on. Dang!

So I try not to tell anyone what they should be doing because that would be ridiculous; I can’t walk in your shoes. I don’t know what the trials and tribulations of all the women reading this are. But since I finally accept myself as being totally unique, what I can do is tell you what’s happening for me and trust that you will figure out your own way to get to your own peace and joy. Or get annoyed and opt out 😉

So if that would be just an hour every day to write, or walk, or sing or feel grateful for this incredible world, then do it. Just do it, women, you are worth it!!!

The other people in your life will adjust, probably with some grumbling at first. It will benefit them that you set an example of self-love. And if your life is full of people who bring you down and think you owe them, then take more time off, you deserve it. It will give you the clarity to deal with them when you come back.

For some of us our families or our aging parents often seem to need more of our help and our attention than we can give. When you are clear and happy you can give so much more. Forgive them for their neediness, they can’t help it. My mum’s mind was going for years before she died and I didn’t get it at the time. It was so gradual. So I kept giving what she wanted and built up more hidden resentment all the time. I wish I could do that time over! I would take more time for myself and only do what I could do lovingly.

If you are thinking that it is your job to take care of everyone else and I am being incredibly selfish, that is an example of the programming of this culture. You’ve been brainwashed. Wouldn’t it be interesting to really get to know who you are and what you want under the programming? I think the underlying core of all of us is Love, Peace and Joy. That’s what I want to get back to as my pushbutton reaction. When I help others from that place it is a win for both of us.

And I also really trust that if I choose not to help a person in my life, they will find someone else to step into that job. We all find our match somehow.

Ok, so have a Huge Celebration of your own Unique Beingness, your own gift to the world, for the entire rest of November. May it feel sooo good that you decide to do it until you die.

Blessings,

Pam

Come Home to Your Body

Finally my revised book, Come Home to Your Body is up on Amazon, Whoohoo! bookcover1

I am excited because I think this can help women over 50 change their perception of their bodies and their lives and start to become more comfortable with the whole idea of growing older.

Aging is really not a bad thing! I think I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I am learning and growing in so many ways I can barely keep up with myself. I am no longer into constant drama and I am at peace with myself and the Universe.

If you blame your limitations for putting a lid on your happiness, then some of the tools in this book can give you new insight on that. One of my core beliefs is that we create our lives in every moment, with every choice, with every decision, with every thought. So the good thing is we can change on a dime and create something we like better.

And if you are still waiting for other people to love you the way you want to be loved, please STOP WAITING! It’s never going to happen. Love yourself! Then the years don’t pass by with discontent and dis-ease gathering power over you.

This is a workbook. You do one chapter a week and slowly, almost imperceptibly your life moves into a new direction, looking forward to more joy, more explorations, more gratitude.

I have revised the whole book and added 3 chapters so if any of you read it before, long ago, this is an updated version.

And now, with self-publishing it is vital to the success of a book to get good reviews on Amazon. So if you read it and like it, please give me a review so that more women will get to read it. I’d really appreciate that. And I have been warned that sometimes Amazon’s print on demand books have printing errors, so if that happens don’t give the book a bad review, just let me know and I will see you get a good copy.

You can buy a printed book or a kindle here and if you want an epub file or a pdf file you can send me an email and I will send it to you directly for $7-.

Now I think I deserve 6 weeks in the south of France, but I actually like it here in California better so I’ll just take a deserved rest at home before I start on any new projects. My inner wisdom just said, “Right, I believe that, thousands wouldn’t.”

I am a happy woman! I wish the same for every woman alive on this planet. That might take a while but it’s good to have a big goal.

Blessings,

Pam

Do We Have Trapped Emotions in Our Bodies?

In my constant quest for effective tools of healing, I came across The Emotion Code recently. The premise of the program is that we store trapped emotions in our bodies that affect our lives in various nefarious ways. So anything we were not equipped to deal with at the time, from the womb forward, creates a ball of energy and lodges in whatever spot in your body it chooses. It may choose a spot because there is some weakness in it already but there is no logic to it, abandonment could be stored in your big toe and anger in your elbow.

That definitely resonated with me because I’ve done almost every kind of healing work there is and yet there are still some automatic reactions embedded in my system that just drive me nuts. I catch myself saying, “Are you not over that YET for Heaven’s sake!!!!!”

So the interesting part about Dr Bradley Nelson’s system is that you can clear these old things very easily by yourself. Anyone who is interested can get a free ebook and the flow charts for doing it yourself here.  I told one lovely customer about it right after I found it and she hit paydirt with the first thing she cleared. Amazing!

I highly recommend that you give it a try if you are open to an adventure. I myself, of course, overdid it at first and got a processing reaction from trying to deal with too much too fast. But after a very emotional two weeks I am settling down again now. It heals physical pain as well as emotional blocks.

Dr Brad has many videos on youtube that show amazing healing taking place so I am going to try it out on some innocent bystanders this week. I really would love to be able to heal a twenty year old pain for someone in ten minutes by releasing two or three trapped emotions! He makes it look like a piece of cake!

Oh! and it gets better! You can release these things from your ancestors as well. There are a lot of healers talking about healing the ancestors lately. It seems to be the latest hot thing. When I first encountered it I thought, ‘Why would you worry about your ancestors, they are out dancing in their light bodies in the Solar Winds – which is what I’m going to be doing when I’m dead?’ But apparently in some portion of their reality they feel badly that they stuck a long line of descendents with their pain. Dr Brad says they often show up at the healing sessions and then disappear when it’s healed.

Another interesting thing is that, although this seems very Woowoo, it seems to attract very normal mainstream people. Perhaps because Dr Brad got it directly from prayer. So I’m intrigued. So intrigued I bought the Body Code as well which was a sizable investment but heals more stuff. Now I really hope it does work. I will keep you posted.

I also have to report that my auto-immune diet did work. Four months down the road my leaky gut is healed and I am starting to add certain things back into my diet slowly so that I can eat a larger variety of food again and gain a few pounds back. I don’t think I will ever go back to dairy, sugar, grains or processed foods. The more I looked into it the more dangerous most processed foods looked. Just read the labels and you’ll see what I mean! So, excepting for very special social occasions, I think I’ve kicked that habit. I actually like cooking my own fresh food every day; I feel like a pioneer woman.

The functional doctor who was having all the testing done was very business and money oriented so I won’t be going back to him. Food sensitivities are spreading so fast that it is the next money-making trend in health. He also wanted me to get off my thyroid meds and my bio-identicals. I tried that and I got slower and slower, my energy was slipping down the drain. The worst symptom was forgetting how to spell! That was going too far, so I started back on both thyroid meds and bio-identicals a couple of weeks ago and now I’m already perking up again. You have to take what your body needs – and I don’t consider these particular medications drugs, I consider them replacements for things my body no longer makes.

I wish you all a peaceful and joyful rest of the Summer.

Pam

Changing Your Emotional State While Walking

Since we are supposed to walk for an hour a day, especially if you have a weight vest and are trying to improve bone density, what else can you do on that walk that would accomplish something really life-changing for you?

A few days ago I was totally bummed with an emotional issue that I just couldn’t get out of my mind. So I was doing the hamster-wheel thing in my head going over and over it. I was walking on the beach because that is so healing for me but even that wasn’t really working to get me out of my funk.

Then a young woman walked by having a conversation with her earbuds and she was swinging her arms vigorously and walking like a powerful person. I suddenly noticed my internal and external physiology, my posture, and I got the realization I was walking like my mother in her last years. Towards the end her mind was going and she didn’t remember that she was loved and she was afraid of dying and she walked like a scared, depressed person.

My posture wasn’t that bad but there was enough of that energy present to surprise me. I straightened up immediately and slid my shoulder blades down my spine trying to make them meet in the middle of my back. I swung my arms more vigorously and I lengthened my stride. I didn’t get on the phone because I think that is insane on the beach 😉

Immediately I felt better, in fact I burst out laughing at the change. I suddenly saw the stew I was in from a new perspective and saw clearly that the other person was not going to change so all I could change was my reaction. I could create better boundaries so this person could not affect my self-image. I am fine, he is fine, we are just not walking the same path. Why would we be? We basically all have to find the path that works for us in this life.

So then I experimented with other emotional states as I walked along to see how many states I could get into and out of by merely changing my posture. I have a total belief in using the power of body awareness to create in your life but I somehow forgot to use that when I was in the dumps. Luckily my inner wisdom created this young woman to teach me in the moment I needed it.

My soul friend, Lisa, was walking with me the very next day and said she had found a new way to know what was right for her. She just asked herself, “Would this give me more Lisa or less Lisa?”
Same thing with the walk, “Am I walking like BIG PAM or like small pam?”

So try it for yourself. Ask yourself some questions as you walk:

  • Am I walking like anyone I know?
  • Is my body expressing any specific emotion with my movement?
  • Am I fully present in this moment – or in the past or future?
  • Am I expressing all the enthusiasm I could in this moment?
  • Am I allowing myself to feel the joy in the world in this moment?
  • Am I appreciating all that I have in this moment?
  • Am I sending back love to nature, or the planet, or Gaia, or trees, or flowers, or whatever in this moment.

Instead of just getting some exercise or improving your bones, you can be improving your whole life in your hour of walking. What a blessing it is to have the hour of freedom, so many women don’t.

Please let me know in the comments if you can make this work on the treadmill. It might be a little more difficult.

I think I’m going to put this on the weight vest blog and the HealthyOver50 blog because it applies to both.

Enjoy your walking,

Pam

Self-Confidence

What does self-confidence mean to you?
Is it when you are sure you are in your right place in the world and making a difference?
When you know you are doing a great job and adding value with your work?
When all your relationships are working well and no-one is upset with you?

That third one may be your weak spot!
Why? Because you aren’t really in control of that. Other people do what they do and think what they think and may see you very differently that you see yourself. Trying to please everyone in your life is a waste of time and energy.

Our family especially can take us to the mat in a heartbeat. They often have a fixed, outdated picture of us that doesn’t relate to our present reality at all. And they often don’t want us to change, especially to move into our BIGNESS.

I noticed this past month that my self-confidence plummeted when I was not feeling my best – after eating all my suspected allergens before my allergy test.
I think that is a big snag with getting older. We may go through more times when our health is not the best and it would be a good thing to not feel emotionally down at the same time.

So I was wondering how to maintain my self-confidence on days that I felt like throwing in the towel and going back to bed. Actually I smile when I say that because I haven’t had a day in bed since I can remember 😉

Here are some ways that work for me:

My own version of the morning meditation, you’ll find the free download here -meditation. Pay special attention to the third eye chakra, where you allow yourself to see your true beauty and brilliance.

Remembering a time when I felt supremely self-confident, I knew I had just hit it out of the park, and feeling that feeling in my body, and then anchoring it in by saying something like “I am in my right place today.”

Doing something fun just for me. Walking on the beach or doing some artwork.

Doing something that I know I am successful with, it’s just easy for me.

Sending heart energy to the person who is upset with me or who I am upset with. Seeing the situation from a distance high above my head, closer to Source, and knowing that this came up to teach us both something.

Using the Tapping for Joy tool that I mention on the emotional clearing page.

Helping someone in need. Putting a smile on someone’s face.

Anything we are doing that has the word ‘self’ in front of it: self-love, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-control, is always a work in progress. Some days it will be present in our lives everywhere we turn and then the Universe brings us something new to deal with and we are back in the trenches.
We don’t get done while we are still in a body 😉
Unless we are in a cave in the Himalayas maybe.

100 day challenge check-in. I’m on my eighth day and I had difficulty with my first trapeze lesson. It was hard to get on the darn thing. To bring my legs from vertical to over my head seemed to be impossible – not a movement we practice much in this culture 😉
So I’m back to basics, strengthening the core with the exercises that I am doing here in this video. When I’m actually on the trapeze I loved it.

May you feel confident enough to move into your BIGNESS this week!

Pam    emoticon('gold')

Allergen Free Food Plan

After reading the brain book that I talked about in the last post I got back on the Allergen Free food plan, also called the AutoImmune diet. It’s not a diet to lose weight, although I have, and I’m skinny enough already! It’s a food plan for the rest of your life to stay healthy and intelligent.

Once you have an auto-immune disease, like Hashimotos or Diabetes type 1, or lupus or rheumatoid arthritis, then your body has learned to mistake parts of itself for the enemy and try to destroy it. Unfortunately it doesn’t unlearn this and so people with one auto-immune disease often go on to get more. The diet and supplement interventions in the brain book keep that process in check so that symptoms, usually due to inflammation, go away and you feel a lot better.

I knew some of this stuff before but I am healthier than most people my age so I was ostriching it (keeping my head in the sand). But now I’ve found out that my body can attack my brain I am on board for the solution no matter what it takes.

If you think that your intelligence has gone down a lot since your thirties you are probably right. Grains and dairy kill brain cells and they are not replaceable. But the good news is that the brain is so plastic that it can find other ways to do skills it has lost. That is how people recover from strokes. They don’t grow new neurons, they grow new pathways in the ones that are left.

Anyway, it’s only been about ten days and I was going nuts yesterday, I was so depressed. Cutting all the hidden sugars out of my food left me totally comfortless! I couldn’t imagine doing this while living with other people. If I had laid eyes on chocolate or any forbidden stuff yesterday I would not have been able to resist it. Fortunately there wasn’t anything in the house I wasn’t supposed to have so I made it through.

Really the only things I can eat are meats, fish and most veggies – excepting eggplant, tomato, potato,  peppers and mushrooms – the nightshade family.

I’ve been on a pistachio craze lately. I buy them at the Farmers Market and they are flavored. My favorites are Honey Mustard and Balsamic Vinegar. Can you guess why? Sweetness!! I’ve been going through a pound a week and convincing myself they were a good protein snack. So that’s all over now.

My appointment with Dr Flannery is not until mid February so I figure I will have evened out with the food plan by then. Hopefully I will be back to radiant health. I certainly hope I’m in a better mood. Quite frankly, I felt a lot more joy on the old diet – but that’s because there were lots of hidden sugars in it.

So, upward and onward, I think I hit bottom yesterday with the cleanse effect. It can only get better.

Ok, I just found an AutoImmune Cookbook and it’s amazing so now I have a long list in hand for the Farmers Market tomorrow and this feels a lot easier. I may even learn to like veggies I have resisted for a lifetime 😉