It’s Time for your Inner Male and Inner Feminine to Tie the Knot

My Inner Male (IM) and Inner Female (IF) often disagreed how things should be handled in my life and I’ve been doing a lot of work healing that split in the last year. I appreciated my male side when I needed to get things done but I thought it was often a problem when I interacted with others. He was too blunt!

Even my IF had a hard time with normal, everyday conversations. As an empath she could see and feel clearly and often spoke from a deeper place than people expected. So, let’s just say, small talk was not my best skill.

I first did some journaling on the qualities I was grateful for in both of them. It was amazing how much I came up with when I just wrote it down without censoring.

Then I journaled on the qualities I found not so useful and wished I could change in some way.

From this process I recognized that my Inner Male was the Warrior archetype. Many women seem to have this particular archetype since women have entered the corporate world over the last 35 years. But there are many other male archetypes; rescuer/Prince Charming, father, teacher/guru, judge/policeman/controller, handyman/fixer, friend, lover, playmate.

Your inner male archetype would depend on your life path. And it will be obvious when you look back and see what you have resisted and also longed for, your whole life. I have always known I had that warrior within. In fact my first husband used to call me Robina Hood.

So I did a meditation and went inside to meet my Inner Warrior, the Mars Archetype, which just happens to be my birth sign.

As he walked towards me at my call, in his battle armor, he was so full of light, like one of King Arthur’s knights, and he told me he would protect me until death and always had. It was so genuine it brought tears to my eyes.
I told him that I loved and appreciated him finally as he deserved, but perhaps I did not need the same kind of protection now I’m a crone. Perhaps just seeing things from his male perspective would be the most useful help now.

Then I met my Inner Feminine; so soft and beautiful and so full of desire to remove all the pain and suffering in the world.
She never would have made it on her own.
In Astrology she is Cancer, ruled by the moon, needing constant change. She often found Mars too strong and dictatorial for her, always trying to make her stick with the same safe path. She didn’t have a clue that she was the queen and he would always act on her desire. I held her close and transmitted the feeling that Mars had shown me and she felt it for herself.

Every cell in my body had an epiphany of gratitude for both of them that just swept through me. So we decided to create a sacred ceremony to help us remember who we truly are.

I went down to the beach very early in the morning on February 14 and we each promised undying love, appreciation and devotion, and to always remember that we were both vital to each other here on Planet Earth, the planet of duality. I tied a braided silk thread around my finger and wore it until it fell off.
I will do another ceremony again this and every year.

This has been a very tough year for me, my 70th birthday year brought some hard lessons. I just realized on writing this that perhaps it was because my heart was not as protected as before, not as many shields are up. My warrior allowed me to feel my own pain fully, and let me notice my lack of truly like-minded, joy-filled company to play with on Planet Earth.

The truth is we can’t deeply love anyone else until we truly love ourselves; all of the beings and faces and voices within us, the whole menagerie. This has nothing to do with whether we are single or in relationship with an external male. We pull into our lives the external males that we need to learn lessons. Once we move into partnership with our internal male then we often find ourselves moving into a whole different relationship with our external partners as well.

Blessings
Pam

Great Poems

I was given the assignment to pick a poem to live by and Kim Rosen has a page on her website where she lists 50 poems that she loves. So I went there to check it out and the very first one was a poem I heard over 40 years ago that first opened the space for poetry in my heart.

David Whyte was giving his first poetry reading in the US and he read like an angel. He read each line at least twice and there were long pauses in his reading. I was totally blissed when the morning was over. I went walking on the grounds at Asilomar and my feet weren’t touching the earth. At that time his own poetry was not famous so he read some beautiful poems from Rumi, Rilke, Goethe and others then finished with some of his own.

So, part of the assignment was to record the poem you want to live by and I’ve just finished doing that. I’ll put it up here in case anyone is interested. Enjoy!


After I did this post I googled David Whyte and I have spent the day listening to him. He is still mesmerizing! And I found a poem I had been searching for a long time. I thought it was called Lost in the Forest, but that one is by Neruda and it is different. The one I was seeking is just called Lost and is by David Wagoner and David Whyte spoke it that same day at Asilomar. So I recorded that one as well. I’ve always remembered bits of it but not clearly. It is so beautiful! Enjoy again!



After re-engaging with great poetry all day I am in a totally altered space, lifted out of the 3D world and seeing the enormous undertow of creativity that is tugging on me. It’s probably no coincidence that I tore down two tin sheds this week to make room for an art studio under an awning beside my house. All my art supplies; for painting, silk-painting, sculpting, stained glass and copper working have been dormant inside the sheds for years. Now I will have a real studio again. It’s definitely time that poetry showed up at the feast 😉

Welcome

I am looking forward to blogging on this site. Health is such a huge topic, I can talk about anything! I am still writing all the static pages but the blog will be a more spontaneous thing that I can use to update the information with all the new ideas I come across.

I’ve had a blog on the Weight Vest site for years but I have to limit myself to bone related topics there. Yet everything is related to everything. Today I was not only learning how to configure the website on WordPress but have it look the way I wanted it and I was getting pretty stuck in my head and obsessive and edgy. When I was walking with Dragon, my new dog, down near the beach I just let it all go and instantly felt better.

There is a eucalyptus tree on my walk that I love and standing next to that tree with my head against the beautiful peeling bark I can bring myself back into a space of acceptance of what is, and gratitude. Sometimes I used to climb up in the tree and sit above the people walking by and they rarely noticed me. I can’t do that anymore because Dragon thinks the world revolves around her and she doesn’t want to wait for me to talk to trees.treepam

Thinking back over my day there was such a contrast between the mental intensity of learning a new computer skill, getting things wrong a zillion times and starting over, being totally in my head, and walking with Dragon and being present with trees and the ocean. I love them both. I couldn’t do a Walden Pond thing, alone in a cabin in the woods. My computer is my friend and ally and I learn so much from it. I could easily live without a cell phone but not without my computer.

I have read a lot of lovely blogs by amazing women lately and one of them said that when she started she had only one reader – her dad 😉 So I will start out with a few friends and see where this leads me.

Move in Joy,
Pam