My Journey into 2018

Amazing things have been happening in my life since I started using the belief change regularly – from the last post!

My Inner Guidance led me to TreeSisters recently. They want to reforest the sub-tropics and they know that to do that they have to improve the education and status of women around the world. So it is a dual goal organization, to save our planet from the sixth mass extinction and to raise the consciousness of women. To turn us from a consumer species – which obviously is not working – into a restorer species, like all the indigenous peoples around the world who consider the effects of all their choices on the generations to come.

So I just completed the free Journey of Awakening from their website and it was the most astounding online course I ever took. In the meditations I felt the presence of hundreds of women all around the globe, all working to improve their world for the future. A huge part of their work is helping us all feel our connections to each other and to nature.

There are brilliant interviews with very unusual women to illustrate each step on the journey so I have become connected with many more women who are leading the world into hope and positive change.

So, back in October when I formulated my belief change method I was pretty gloomy about the state of the world and I felt that it was all beyond my control. The planet is being run by corporate psychopaths who have Money in the center of their reality instead of Life. They are too stupid and shortsighted to see that the money will do them no good when the planet is destroyed. I know that most of them have grand refuges under the earth in fancy bunkers to wait out the trouble, but, really! Do they actually believe that they can be happy down there, disconnected from Source and Sun!

After doing the Journey to Awakening I totally believe that a new world is being born. The corporatocracy will be rounded up and escorted to another place and we will have to work like beavers in the new world restoring the planet and Earth’s creatures, including us, the new humans.

So I highly recommend that you join TreeSisters and start giving back to this beautiful planet before the man-created weather patterns destroy us all. Having just lived through the California fires and mudslides, up close and personal, in fact still breathing in and cleaning up the soot, I am more than ready to do my part.

Please join me!



Belief and Reality Change

I firmly believe that we each create our own world according to our beliefs.
That’s why we each have our own version of every event.

But we all have powerful beliefs and programs running us that were installed before we were born; in utero, or from birth to 7 years old, which are NOT useful to us now in our changed world. ‘I can’t’ is a very powerful one and it is different for everyone. What can’t you do that others can do easily?

We often notice these beliefs when we do something automatically and think ‘why did I do that?’

Or we can notice when others do things we don’t think are ok. They are violating one of our core programs. These core programs are in the unconscious mind, which runs 95% of our brain.

Our Conscious brain/mind is only running 5% of our lives because it can only process a limited number of bits of information a second. Try remembering a 20 unit number without using a memory tool.

Our Unconscious is running zillions (the number keeps changing with new research, but it’s a lot) of bits of information a second. It’s our hard-drive! It regulates our pH, our oxygen, all our hormonal system and all our other systems, our reactions to events, our emotions, etc. etc. Some say our whole reality.

Our Superconscious is our connection to Source; our intuition, our higher self – the part of us that has the whole picture of all of our lifetimes at once. This is the part I like best and want to hang out with it more, but being in the world with all it’s distractions, I get triggered out of connection with it.

So, I have known for 50 years that we are all run by the unconscious programs our parents, peers and others installed without realizing it. I have been searching for a way to access these programs and change them all my life. I’ve tried everything!

And nothing really worked or was easy. I’m too impatient to sit and meditate all day and not really attracted to people who do.

Here is the Solution

Imagine that your unconscious is like a computer. You can install any program you want on the computer and try it out. Your computer doesn’t say, ‘No, I don’t like photoshop, it’s too hard.’ It just installs it and lets you decide.

Humans are actually much more than computers because we have hearts and souls, but this is an analogy.

Now if you install a program that is opposite to one you already have, e.g. ‘I am worthy of all good.’ and you already have an old program, ‘I am worthless.’ Then, like the computer, it doesn’t judge either program. It just uses the ones that your daily thoughts and feelings bring up. So every time you have a thought of being worthless, then you could notice it and say, ‘that’s not true, I am worthy of all good.’ You could even reinstall the program to reinforce that.

Gradually when it needs more room on the hard-drive it will trash the old, unused program and it can no longer be triggered by fear events in your life.

Choosing a New Program.

You can choose a program from something that pops up in your life. Like being impatient and not enjoying that state. You would create the new program – short and sweet; our unconscious thinks like a child, no negative wording, and present tense.

So ‘I am patient.’ Or at the most two things, ‘I am patient and kind.’

Or you can create a whole long list for every area of your life with really positive beliefs. I stopped at about 6 full pages and I’m not done installing them all.

A good first belief to install would be would be, ‘All my new beliefs benefit me and the world.’

Then I advise you to do, ‘I love myself completely.’ Because that changes everything!

And it wouldn’t hurt to do, ‘I can install new beliefs easily and quickly.’

I was totally enthusiastic at first and did 5 in a row and it did work but it’s probably better if you gave yourself more time and more chance to focus on one at a time. Now I usually do about 5 in the course of a day as they come up.

One of my success stories is that I installed ‘All the improvements to my home that I desire will be done in the next year.’ I hadn’t been consciously thinking about a remodel at all. I live in a mobile home because I want a small footprint but, since I added a dog and a cat, it has gotten a bit shabby.

But when I realized that was on my list I went ahead and started remodeling my house – by myself! I got a little help with heavy stuff like replacing rotten flooring but mostly it was my work. And my son donated the money for supplies against his inheritance when I leave him the house – perfect! The house looks so much better already. I still have all the interior doors to replace and I’m looking forward to learning how to do that. It truly feels like a new house.

So, as you can see from that story, this is magic and not-magic! We create our world from our thoughts. If my thoughts are ‘I shouldn’t take anything more for myself because so many people are starving’ then I wouldn’t have bothered remodeling. If my thoughts change to ‘I deserve to live in joy and beauty’ then it’s logical to get going with the paint and the saw.

Installing the New Program.

This is the part I only just recently figured out how to do. Affirmations were supposed to do this but usually didn’t work for me and I discovered why.

Affirmations are usually saying something that your conscious mind does not agree with. If I said I am abundant in every way, my mind was saying, ‘Bulloney, what about the bank account, take a look!’ That argument keeps you in Beta vibration and nothing new gets installed.

So you have to be in Theta, or at least low Alpha state before you can actually get to the level where programs are installed. At first you can do this by playing Theta music from youtube, or doing a deep breathing exercise, sitting out in nature feeling grateful, etc. etc.

Or if you know how to relax already you can take a shortcut by using a physical way of bringing your brain into balance. I got this position from Brain yoga. First, set the intention that what you are doing is for the benefit of all. It really is because every time one of us cleans something up in our programming we are benefiting the whole.

Sit with your legs crossed at the ankles.
Then hold your right earlobe with your left hand, thumb underneath, and your left earlobe with your right hand, so your arms are also crossed.

This brings your brain into balance, both right and left hemispheres and cuts out the arguments.

Take a deep breath in and on the outbreath, say ‘Peace’.

Now you are ready to install the new program. And remember that you don’t need to judge it. Keep an open mind. You are just giving it a free trial for 30 days on your hard-drive and you can uninstall it any time you want. You just are curious to see what life would be like with this new program.

You say it slowly and powerfully 3 times, with emotion if possible. If it doesn’t feel sincere then pretend you are an actor on your own stage. Dare to hope for it from your heart.
The voices in your head may come up at first but just listen, don’t argue with them.

What happens for me now is that sometime before I’ve finished the last declaration of intent, I sigh or take a deep breath automatically.

This may happen for you, or you may have another sign. But after the 3 declarations you are done and the program is installed.

Then you bring your fingers together in front of your heart and say SAVE. Remember what happens on the computer when you don’t save your work?

Then I put my hands on my heart and say ‘Thankyou, thankyou!’

My teacher’s 8 year old son loved math and he said ‘Dad, I want to be a master in math!’ So they installed the program, ‘I am a master in math.’ and the kid is already winning state championships! You can teach anyone this, kids love it!

Ongoing work.

The best thing to do after installing a belief is to take a step in the ‘REAL’ world that would confirm it, or you could just be on the watch for the old program to show up so you can say ‘no, no, baby, not you, I want the new belief!’

You really can’t create beliefs that would hurt others because we are all one, but if you try you will probably be the first one under the bus.

You also can’t create new beliefs for anyone else no matter how much you would like to 😉

You can do this as often as you like. Your unconscious is a work-horse, it can take anything on and find the way to create it in your life. It’s been creating all the stuff you haven’t liked all these years, right?

I’ve had a month long pause to practice this work and I’m telling you it works! The first people I taught, my grandkids, just shone it on, didn’t believe in it. But if I lived closer I could have guided them more often. A couple of others, grownups, the same thing, they shone it on. Most people are sleepwalking anyway and they don’t want anyone to disturb their waking dream. So I just gave up on sharing it.

But now I’m getting enough tweaks from my Superconscious that I thought I’d put it out there and see what happens. Worst case scenario is a few more people I never see will think I’m crazy 😉


I’d love feedback or questions through my email  in the footer !
But if this conflicts with your existing beliefs you don’t need to attack me. Just click away, go find something you enjoy.

Art and Growth


I just realized how long it has been since I wrote a blog entry. There have been huge transformations taking place in my life and I just forgot to report on any of them 😉

I dedicated the time from February 1st to my birthday on March 31st to clearing my slate; in my house, in my life and in my psyche. I do this every year because the 2 months before a birthday is a great life detox time so that you can start the next year with clarity and peace.

I got clear on my purpose, which is Awakening. That probably means different things to different people. To me it means becoming aware in every moment that we are all ONE and all part of the divine plan for this planet.

In my releasing of old stuff; childhood patterns at an ever-deepening level, programming from family and society, implants from previous lives, I see more clearly every time something comes up for release, what function it served in making me the unique being that I am now. I am taking full responsibility for everything in my life finally.

At the same time as I’m doing all this inner clearing, I am teaching myself how to paint abstracts and I am loving it so much. Every one of them so different, like flowers and trees and every one a joy to make. I am using various kinds of flowing to paint, letting the colors interact with one another in whatever way pleases us – me and them 😉

Then I am also recreating an old product that I made out of clay 25 years ago – Wild Wailing Women. This is a healing tool. The wailing women listen to all your complaints, from major to minor, and she wails for you, directly into the ear of the Universe, so you can let go of your pain or aggravation or grief and get on with life.

I can’t do clay anymore because I don’t have access to a kiln or enough room, so I have been studying polymer clay and art dolls and I am inspired to create a new Wild Wailing Women for this new time. It is so much fun! I have completed one and learned what NOT to do. Now I will work on a new prototype – as soon as I can tear myself away from the flowing of paint 😉

A previous blog on Intentional Creativity was about how being creative in some way can help to heal all kinds of things in your life. I can tell you it is really true. I am happier now than I can ever remember being, in a very deep way and totally independent of external approval.

Get yourself some paints or music or writing that makes you smile to do it and do it every day, even if only for half an hour and you will see what I mean. You can go to youtube for instructions on anything you want to learn. I love that!



Intentional Creativity

Early in January I went to a workshop with Shiloh Sophia called The Legend. It was about rewriting your story, the ones you have always told about your life. Writing yourself a new story that would be more fun and productive to live out and then painting the new you. The thing that got me hooked on the workshop was the part that said you can make it up! It doesn’t have to be true!

I’ve always had a hard time telling lies. I’ve done it, of course. We all have. But I think the truth is written all over my face so clearly that only a blind person would miss it.
In fact, one of my favorite thoughts is that we would all wake up one morning and only speak the truth, be totally transparent to each other, and how that would change the world.

As soon as I signed up, all kinds of memories came up for review. I thought of things I hadn’t thought of for years. And always with the perspective of, what about this memory would I change if I could?

When I got to the workshop I was so ready! I really do know that 2015 is going to be my best year ever. I have let go of so much stuff and changed my beliefs and daily practices so much this last year. It was held in the Cosmic Cowgirls studio in Healdsburg and it is an incredible place! Totally inspiring!

We did some journaling and found the secret inner belief that is core to how we see our lives. That was extremely powerful. Then we went to the huge white canvases and began. We actually had 3 days of painting and arrival day and closing session. I never would have believed that the incredible works of art in that room could have come into being in that short time.

My New LegendSo here is my new Legend. Her name is Irrepressible Joy and she’s filling my house with her energy now. She’s so much more beautiful in person. We all have total joy at the core of our being. The trick is to be able to experience it in this world of duality. There are so many opportunities to be dragged off into drama.

Shiloh calls her method Intentional Creativity and she knows it can change people’s worlds. You can do it online as well and there are many women who have trained as teachers of the method. You may be lucky enough to live near one of them.
You can find her at and FYI I’m not an affiliate, I just would love more women to experience more joy 😉

I spent the whole of November setting up an art studio in my house and now I paint every day. I just painted an image of the Sacred Marriage that I will post in February for Valentine’s Day.

Live in Joy,


Happy New Year 2015


For me Winter Solstice is the real turning of the year and I had a wonderful Solstice event using my new Infinity Peace Path as the framework. I’ll tell you about it so that you can do it for yourself anytime you want to make a change in your life. It doesn’t conflict with any religion you follow and involves the 5 elements that we all need to keep on living.

You first mark out an infinity sign on the floor as simply as putting 3 rocks or shells, or anything really, in an elongated figure 8. The middle one is the crossing point and you walk a circle around the other two as big as you would like. You can do it on the beach, in the park, anywhere about 20 feet long and 8 ft wide.

Then in the middle of the left hand circle, which is the circle of letting go, imagine 5 bowls or baskets representing the elements; earth, fire, water, air and Spirit. I had earth, a candle, sea water, air, and a Tibetan bowl to represent Spirit, but you can just imagine it.

Now you walk 5 times around the whole path and as you pass the imaginary bowls on the left side you let go of something in your life represented by that element.

Earth is the life of the physical plane; your health, job, money, location, etc.
Fire represents misplaced passion; anger, resentment, resistance, etc.
Water is our emotional life; grief, sorrow, regret, lack of self-love, lack of confidence.
Air represents the mental life; all the beliefs, programs and patterns that we feel we should have outgrown by now, that are hindering our growth.
Spirit is any doubt or fear. When we are truly connected to Spirit we can transcend doubt and fear but we never get rid of it entirely because it is a basic of this existence in a body. It’s built in to the amygdala in the brain and was necessary for our survival, perhaps will be again.

Now you send all those imaginary bowls and all that energy out into the Cosmos where it all dissolves into love – because that’s all there is really when you get out there away from this planet of polarity. You don’t have to know how to do this, as you think it and imagine it, it happens.

So now you can do one circuit in the peace of emptiness. I did a healing ritual at this point.

Now you can walk the path of receiving. The imaginary bowls are in the right-hand circle now.

The earth is a gift of abundance and healing all lack. I had amethyst crystals in this one.
Fire was the gift of a red flower; finding your true passion and following it.
Water was healing water; healing yourself in every way.
Air was a gift of words of inspiration to replace the old beliefs.
Spirit was sparkling radiance.

Thank each element for the gifts you get every moment. We would die without any one of these elements, some quickly, some slowly. Notice if you fully received these gifts. Most of us have a hard time with receiving 😉

Walking alone, without any of the element bowls, will integrate your right and left hemispheres and bring you to a place of peace. Adding in the elements makes that more profound and life changing. I was doing it on the beach every day right after Solstice and it was so calming. Then my family arrived and it went out the window 😉

So now I am off to an art and writing workshop for five days. I am so excited! And I am also creating some new and beautiful abstracts in my new studio. One of them is above.

This will be the last newsletter you will receive because I don’t want to pay for the newsletter program which just doubled in price, but you can always read my blog here on the site or you can click on the RSS feed button and get it on your home page.

So I will keep on writing blogs once in a while as a record of my changes. This year has been momentous in that regard. I have given up the desire to heal others. We all are dealing with the lessons we need to learn.
Now I desire to inspire others with my words or my art instead. I listened recently to one of those teleseminar programs where various women were explaining how to be a powerful woman and it was all stuff I have been saying for donkey’s years but I just didn’t manage to get anyone to listen. Now the word is out there and available and I can step back and leave it to the younger women. They speak the language of NOW and understand marketing better than I do.

If you use my Infinity Peace Path in your own work please credit me and my site. I may try to get it out there somehow because it changed people right in front of my eyes on Solstice.

Love and Joy and Peace in 2015. May it be your best year ever.


Change, Change, and Faster Change

It’s a known fact, as my Dad used to say, that the world is changing faster and faster. Time is whipping by so fast I have to remind myself what day it is several times a day. But I am flowing with change in the most wonderful way.

I am relaxing into being instead of doing. I’ve tried that before and it never lasted long but, this time, it seems to be sticking. Some days I won’t even make a to-do list at all. I gave myself permission to be on extended vacation and I am not thinking about the future or the past.

In the last 6 months since I put my growth process into overdrive, I have been letting go of all of my old programming and forgiving everyone for everything, in fact, thanking them for participating in my drama with me. I feel light, as if I finally got it that life is a movie and we write our own script. I’m becoming more successful at changing my thoughts whenever I feel them slipping back into the same old ruts.

I think a lot of the reason for my peace of mind is Sound. Since I went to Tom Kenyon’s sound workshop in May, my mind has moved into a new soundscape. I am doing the sound meditations on Tom’s site and also the ones with binaural beats that allow you to leave your body and go on journeys. Hemisync pioneered those 35 years ago and I actually did some back then but I was busy being a workaholic at the time. Now I am free to just be.

We are all much more than our bodies and there is so much we can learn in the larger Universe. I leave my body peacefully resting, sometimes breaking into snores, and go out and play in the Universe. I exchange thoughts with SuperPam, my guide, FuturePam, the incredible woman I intend to be at some point before I leave this lifetime and Pamananda, my Higher Self. Sometimes we laugh and dance, sometimes I ask questions about things I don’t understand. But I’m noticing that my questions are changing as well. I am not trying to get reassurance about the future of the planet any more. The planet will continue, with or without humans, and we will continue in some form also. So no worries, as the Aussies say.

I am also letting go of the need to heal the world that I’ve had since I was a child. We will all heal in our own time and our own way and no-one else’s healing is my responsibility.

I still get a bit tweaked when it is 85 degrees for a week. We aren’t used to that here. I still have my preferences. But I’m recognizing the 3D world for what it is; drama, distraction and delusion. When my computer doesn’t give me what I want or the water line under the sink breaks and floods everywhere, I hear myself reacting and I think, “Oops, I’m back in 3D!”

It might sound as if I am kind of stoned or spaced out but that’s not it. I cleaned up the flood, repaired the plumbing and persuaded my computer to work for me. I’m functioning on a very high level but from a different emotional level than before.

I really don’t know if anyone is interested in what I am doing 😉 But I’m writing here now as a chronicle of my changes. The daily journal I’ve kept all my life has too much detail to see the big picture. When I started this blog I wanted it to be useful, to help women. Now that is not the focus. I’m just writing to pinpoint some turnings on my path.

I’m getting huge downloads about a ceremony I will do on Winter Solstice. My guides seem to be very interested in that. I’m bringing forward a new meditation and healing walk; much easier than a labyrinth, and more profound, integrating the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I’m excited about that.

So the comment section is open if you would like to tell me what is happening for you at this time of momentous change. Your comment doesn’t show up right away. I have to ok it to keep the spammers at bay.

I wish you many blessings,


Come Home to Your Body

Finally my revised book, Come Home to Your Body is up on Amazon, Whoohoo! bookcover1

I am excited because I think this can help women over 50 change their perception of their bodies and their lives and start to become more comfortable with the whole idea of growing older.

Aging is really not a bad thing! I think I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I am learning and growing in so many ways I can barely keep up with myself. I am no longer into constant drama and I am at peace with myself and the Universe.

If you blame your limitations for putting a lid on your happiness, then some of the tools in this book can give you new insight on that. One of my core beliefs is that we create our lives in every moment, with every choice, with every decision, with every thought. So the good thing is we can change on a dime and create something we like better.

And if you are still waiting for other people to love you the way you want to be loved, please STOP WAITING! It’s never going to happen. Love yourself! Then the years don’t pass by with discontent and dis-ease gathering power over you.

This is a workbook. You do one chapter a week and slowly, almost imperceptibly your life moves into a new direction, looking forward to more joy, more explorations, more gratitude.

I have revised the whole book and added 3 chapters so if any of you read it before, long ago, this is an updated version.

And now, with self-publishing it is vital to the success of a book to get good reviews on Amazon. So if you read it and like it, please give me a review so that more women will get to read it. I’d really appreciate that. And I have been warned that sometimes Amazon’s print on demand books have printing errors, so if that happens don’t give the book a bad review, just let me know and I will see you get a good copy.

You can buy a printed book or a kindle here and if you want an epub file or a pdf file you can send me an email and I will send it to you directly for $7-.

Now I think I deserve 6 weeks in the south of France, but I actually like it here in California better so I’ll just take a deserved rest at home before I start on any new projects. My inner wisdom just said, “Right, I believe that, thousands wouldn’t.”

I am a happy woman! I wish the same for every woman alive on this planet. That might take a while but it’s good to have a big goal.



Giving the 100 Day Challenge the Boot.

Ok, my intention to learn the trapeze in 100 days has driven me a bit berserk! I do love to keep my promises to myself whenever possible, so when I noticed I wasn’t actually doing the work every day I was first understanding and tolerant, then a bit slave-driving, then questioning (does that sound like your mum?).  Nothing actually got me going!

What I got with the questioning was two things. One, that the trapeze nowadays is not the trapeze I was imagining in my mind. When I was a child and saw the beautiful, sparkling lady climb up the ladder and get on the trapeze I was totally awestruck. I wanted to be like her so much I could taste it! She always had her partners and brothers to swing her back and forth and flip her in the air and catch her. It just looked like Heaven! She was never a disappointment like the ride on the elephant.

It’s different now. The circus place where I do aerial yoga every week is from the new school, the Cirque du Soleil version of circus. I admire it enormously but I don’t want to go there. For one thing, the trapeze hangs from one point so it circles around  and around and doesn’t just fly straight like a swing. For another, there are no nets so the routines on the trapeze now tend to be a little hanging gymnastics and then a pose for applause, another little gymnastic contortion and then a pose.

So I was pretending to myself that I was in this for the body strengthening but really I was in it for the thrills. I wanted to be on a giant swing. And, I noticed that I’m still a bit shy about posing (‘especially at your age!’ my mum just said). Mum’s actually dead but that doesn’t stop her from talking in my head 🙂 . That’s number one.

Number two is that I have been working on revising the book a lot and also on becoming clear on what I wanted to spend my next twenty years doing. With that and the solar flares I was feeling uncharacteristically physically tired. My mind and emotions were doing really well but my body was dragging a bit. I also asked for and got greater communication with my guides, and it is wonderful, but I think so much of my being is moving into another dimension that it added to my tiredness. My body has to catch up.UCSB Labyrinth

So over Solstice I did an amazing ritual at the UCSB Labyrinth. It is pretty  new and was totally empty. It overlooks the ocean, I could hear the waves, and I was in Heaven. The message that I got was that the gift that I came to share with people, women especially, is how to get present in their bodies as a regular way of being. Then proper nutrition and self-love and breathing and reclaiming their own power to create their lives, all fall into place for each one in her own way.

I can’t tell anyone else how to eat. I finally have become clear on what suits my body at this time of my life and I’m grateful for that. But it certainly wouldn’t suit many people. I was hung up on that for a while watching people feed their addictions and getting sicker and sicker. I really want everyone to be well and happy and doing great work in the world. But after hearing the words a zillion times that everyone is on their own path, I finally got a hit right to the heart during this ritual that everyone is doing what is right for them right now. My only job is to be the best that I can be at my own life, and if I look a lot more lively and healthy than other people my age then maybe they will sit up and take notice.

So I’m not sitting on my fingers, I’m still exercising daily, but I’ve kicked the trapeze idea to the curb. And I’m not going to do challenges any more either. I will accept my life day to day as I am creating it with extreme gratitude. Often while on the beach walking with Dragon I wonder how I got so lucky.

Love and blessings,